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  1. Retweeted
    26 Jun 2015

    Every year the average human swallows eight dollars in their sleep

  2. Retweeted
    10 Jun 2015

    One of my favorite Einstein quotes

  3. Retweeted
    22 Apr 2015

    ESPN Breaking News: Jamison Did not steal crab legs.

  4. 21 Apr 2015
  5. Retweeted
    23 Jan 2015

    It's amazing when you go to any airport how many guys and women look like John Madden.

  6. 16 Jan 2015

    @JeffsBDay it's not your birthday, jeffy!

  7. Retweeted
    15 Jan 2015

    Happy for today's Oscars nominee announcements. Very helpful to know which adults might win trophies in a month and a half.

  8. 20 Nov 2014

    GET yer damn hands......offa ME

  9. Retweeted
    23 Oct 2014

    This is my kind of bear.

  10. Retweeted
    24 Sep 2014

    I saw a dog with a bandana around his neck and he looked great. If I wore that same bandana I'd look like Dom DeLuise in "Blazing Saddles."

  11. Retweeted
    11 Sep 2014

    3 shocking facts you didn't know about 9/11

  12. 3 Sep 2014

    Enjoying a nice glass of Tang this morning ;)

  13. 25 Aug 2014

    Ey where's gibbo hidin?

  14. 25 Aug 2014

    Small talk for small minds

  15. Retweeted
    19 Aug 2014

    The media might be dropping the ball on Ferguson and Ebola but they're really doing a bang-up job on this Ice Bucket Challenge! Congrats!

  16. 15 Aug 2014

    And she feel boos like she bombed at apollo

  17. Retweeted
    24 Jul 2014

    You ever notice how ghosts seem to prey on crazy people that don't have a lot going on?

  18. Retweeted
    22 Jun 2014

    Few countries love soccer as much as the United States

  19. 19 Jun 2014
    Replying to

    : I am left-handed but do some stuff right-handed (Frisbee, computer mouse). I am "ambidextrish.”

  20. Retweeted
    12 Jun 2014

    They're not saying "boo," they're saying "boy, are we human garbage dressed in all white."

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