Part of what chills me the most about the Toronto van attack and the whole incel thing, is that I can easily understand how men get there. With a couple of slight nudges here or there in my past, there's a darkest timelines version of myself feeling that way. Long story incoming:
I'd like to think that I blamed myself and not girls. Maybe that's me looking back with rose coloured glasses to make me feel better now. But it was definitely not far from some of the incel rhetoric I've seen. I was a short walk from that thinking
-
-
Skip to grade 12 & prom. The couples were all going & the non-couples in our group were going together for cheaper tickets. When I asked if anyone wanted to go with me, one girl spoke up quickly. I thought nothing of it at first
Show this thread -
She was sweet and quiet, and I had never noticed her before because I was always interested in more outgoing girls. I mistook their outgoing nature for interest in quiet me.
Show this thread -
Another friend took me aside and said "She really likes you but is too shy to say anything. Be respectful." That changed my whole world. I didn't like her, but suddenly I was in the place I had put all my previous crushes. I didn't want to hurt her but I didn't want to date her
Show this thread -
I realized how shitty I had been. I didn't change overnight. It took years & more crushes. But I didn't write any more notes. I kept quiet and if something happened great! If it seemed like feelings were reciprocated, I would slowly spend more time with her. I got better slowly
Show this thread -
Part of incel rhetoric I see is devaluing anyone who actually likes you. Degrading them or seeing them as a lesser number than you. Guys aren't taught about to handle rejection AND we're not taught about respecting the feelings of others. We have to change that.
Show this thread
End of conversation
New conversation -
Loading seems to be taking a while.
Twitter may be over capacity or experiencing a momentary hiccup. Try again or visit Twitter Status for more information.