Colin opened his window, and the man started yelling at him. He was upset about something. It might have been about how Colin was parked; I can't remember. Colin was shaken but was trying to resolve the dispute with kindness.
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We tend to assume the best of people (that's a good thing!) Here's how you can recognize a toxic person: (Described here by Holloway (PhD) and
@dr_mitch_kusy: https://pdfs.semanticscholar.org/f4c8/2588309a1ca0d370666e9c60ed180d34f1ab.pdf …)pic.twitter.com/EOSpkm0dKJ
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These folks are constantly: - embroiled in some form of online drama - shaming and humiliating people publicly - saying negative things about others publicly - hanging out with other negative people that like to complain They distrust anyone who seems happy or earnest.
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The challenge? Most of the time you can't reason with toxic people. Remember, for them "it feels good to feel bad." As Lane, Hull, and Foehrenbach point out: "They have a recurring need for activities that eliminate pleasure and induce a state of dysphoria."
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Holloway &
@dr_mitch_kusy make this point in their book: "Toxic people are often self-righteous. [They] cannot find fault in themselves. This is the reason that explaining their behaviors to them often doesn’t work." https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00263ZLGW/ref=cm_sw_r_tw_dp_U_x_AIwHDb4CJFW6Q …pic.twitter.com/knC0nF7s5o
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I'm not sure what the right solution is for dealing with negative people online. Here are my current thoughts: 1. Ignore people who are consistently toxic and negative. 2. For myself, be open to correction from my trusted friends: "Hey Justin, that wasn't nice." 3. Be kind.
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If you've ever felt metaphorically "punched in the face" by someone online: I know how much it sucks. I hope this thread helps you recognize: - you're not alone - their behavior is not OK - comments from a toxic person have nothing to do with you
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No need to "unroll;" I've written this whole thread up as a blog post here:https://justinjackson.ca/haters
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Just updated that post again (4 hours later) to clarify some of the thoughts.
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