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    you're sitting on as pink and green throne of lies!

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    Here it is, your personalized video of your dad. Honor him & share!

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    When religious people ask me "But don't you believe there's something better than us in the universe?", I answer, "Yes, most dogs."

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    What a racket.

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    To be fair, being a Hobby Lobby employee is its own form of birth control.

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    Next time someone says "Thanks!" reply: "You're welx!". It's a cool new abbreviation I made up you can use. Make sure to attribute it to me.

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    As my old nan used to say, "If you haven't got anything nice to say, then fuck off and be a cunt somewhere else." Have a lovely day :)

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    He Refused To Watch This Bear Drown, So He Went In After It via

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    Where are we on Butt Selfies? “: "What's our Butt Seflie Strategy?" ~ Brands to Agencies Right Now”

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    Im quoted in Teen Vogue on why swimming is the best exercise @Fit_By_Lucy...

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    I'd rather get cruise ship diarrhea than a Pandora charm bracelet from Jared.

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    : build a resume on & make it searchable to 3,000 employers Powered by

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    "Pfft.... amateur." - Mel Gibson listening to the Donald Sterling tapes

  14. margaret nickerson followed , , and 10 others
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    I spent $1272.03 on a mattress less than a year ago that is defective and you won't help me

  16. Oreo Envy: The Real-Time Marketing Myth - Digiday via

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    I'm worried I don't use the word 'twat' enough in everyday conversations.

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    The Pros And Cons Of Vaccinating Children via

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