person 1 texts a couple paragraphs, or person 2 (god forbid) leaves a voicemail, and you are pissssed. instagram is fun, light, give me your memes, and why are you TEXTING me about a work issue that isn’t time sensitive?
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the balkanization of chat has led to conversations (including work conversations) in text, email, slack, fb messenger, instagram, snapchat, and all forms chosen for reasons so subtle we can’t fully explain the rules - but we *know* them
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the rules of language, more complex than ever before, are unwritten but real. violations of these rules lead to surreal relationship friction, further compounded by our inability to capably talk about the root issue.
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because tech brands, at inception, framed themselves as silly we now view parsing their products for sense or meaning, products that we live inside of!, as self-indulgent. but these structures are dominant, and perilous if improperly navigated.
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There's a very interesting & surprisingly complex process of negotiating these things as you get to know someone, too.
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I have research at Ixy that makes clear you're both right. Alas, most people don't have patience for the negotiation part - so they either never get close or they fall out with existing IRL connections.
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