To be clear, I mean Elon Musk. Elon Musk is a sniveling cock monkey.
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Michael Ian Black
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What a sniveling cock monkey.
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It seems to me that more people should be excited to have me in their television shows and movies.
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It shouldn’t have, but the Trump $99 trading cards just depressed the hell out of me.
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Gotta be honest; my hair doesn’t look great this morning. #GottaBeHonest
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Wouldn't be surprised if Cate gets nominated for an Ostàr.
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But her character was tàrrible!
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Finally saw the Cate Blanchett movie. My review: Tàrrific!
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Listening to a couple next to me on a first date and I can’t imagine how anybody ever makes it to a second date.
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We're nearing our $20,000 goal folks! Remember, $1 provides 10 meals to people facing food insecurity IN YOUR AREA. (Donations are distributed based on ZIP code!) You can fight hunger AND insult me. WHAT A DEAL!!
feedingamerica.org/USATodayRex
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With donations now topping $17,500, you have helped USA TODAY donate more than 170,000 meals with @FeedingAmerica. How about we donate more? bit.ly/3VXuweT?https:
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Guess what I’m having for dinner tonight! (Hint: I’m having steak frites)
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Just shot an episode of one of my favorite TV shows. (“To Catch A Predator”)
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👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇
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the gang is BACK! #partydown returns for the biggest event ever on February 24. tag your +1 below.
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December 14 marks 10 years since the Sandy Hook Elementary School tragedy. Join us in remembering the lives taken from us on that fateful day. Recommit to the Promise to #ProtectOurKids and #EndGunViolence. Text PROMISE to 79775.
#NeverForget #HonorWithAction #SandyHookPromise
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You know what? If you have to spell out the sound horse hoofs make on cobblestones, you could do a lot worse than “clip clop” and we should be grateful to whoever it was that first figured that out.
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*they’re
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MAGA is dead and Donald Trump’s on the outs. Republicans need their own Joe Biden, but instead their focused on Ron DeSantis, showing they've learned nothing at all from voters.
My column:
usatoday.com/story/opinion/
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I consider December 14th, 2012 the single darkest day of my presidency. The news from Sandy Hook Elementary was devastating, a visceral blow, and like so many others, I felt not just sorrow but anger at a world that could allow such things to happen.
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Coincidence?
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Now that he's writing for a big-time newspaper the odious is taking his insult-a-columnist food drive national.
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The blood of children.
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What enabled the big boost in fusion energy announced this week? dlvr.it/SfKFTs
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Mike said I could do the show for him tonight. #excited
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Get your photo taken with @michaelianblack after @OldManPoolBway tonight! Just use the password “Michael Ian Black.” twitter.com/michaelianblac…
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I 100% do not care. There is no legitimate reason to repeal the Second Amendment.
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Replying to @RyiLohan
Unless you count the 40,000+ annual gun deaths, 100k annual gun injuries, and billions of dollars in health care costs.
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The 2019 global pandemic that originated in China was “a plan to get the Democrat(ic) Party to win the election.” Makes sense.
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Replying to @michaelianblack
Bullshit... it was a plan to get the Democrat Party to win the election. It was all a fucking plan. If you don't consider that a possibility then you're a fucking sheep. And Fuck the Republican Party too!
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The whole point of memes & “memetic warfare” is to convey a message while maintaining plausible deniability. The ambiguity is the key feature. Using comical images/language is what allows bad actors & networks to organize violence behind the veil of humor & plausible deniability.
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How long until these incredible scientists receive death threats for some random conspiracy theory involving lasers and pedophiles?
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Watch live: Energy Secretary Jennifer Granholm to announce a “major scientific breakthrough” in the decades-long quest to harness fusion, the energy that powers the sun and stars. twitter.com/i/broadcasts/1
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You're right. It's unfair. So I'm blocking you too.
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Replying to @michaelianblack
Why are you discriminating against those who have purchased Twitter Blue?
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My cat was cleaning himself so I called him a groomer and he acted like he didn't even get the joke so we just kind of stared at each for a second and then he went back to cleaning himself and I made a second cup of tea.
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Could not have blocked any harder if my name was Gene Upshaw.
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Real news starts here. Follow us.
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May not be a compliment (corrected your spelling) but I would be honored. twitter.com/JanicPetrov/st
This Tweet is unavailable.
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Replying to @michaelianblack
Oh, we know him. And Mickey knows him now too.
Had to bring Mickey’s daddy back to apologize for Mickey’s petulance. Costing daddy a bundle of money 
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But they don't know him yet. Right now, he's just "faceless Republican who yelled at Mickey Mouse for being gay."
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USA Today poll:
Biden vs Trump: Biden leads 47-40%
Biden vs. DeSantis: DeSantis leads 47-43%
usatoday.com/story/news/pol
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Finally getting to see show "The Old Man and the Pool" tonight. Not sure exactly how I'm going to heckle, but I'm definitely going to heckle.
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Replying to @michaelianblack
Furious at fauci for funding the Covid 19 creation and lying to congress about it, the guys deserves life in prison
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This is my new "Blue Blockers" screenshot for when I block somebody because they are annoying and subscribed to Twitter Blue.
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The narrative is now that Anthony Fauci politicized the virus. Not the Trump administration, Fauci.
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Replying to @michaelianblack
If believing that makes you sleep better at night, fine.
Dr Fauci's treatment of the American people, the way he politicized the virus and used Twitter to control any narrative, even silencing doctors more qualified that he is in virology, is among the biggest problems.
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Blue block.
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Replying to @michaelianblack
Except that he wasn’t and he didn’t.
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Holy fucking shit, people are complete morons.
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