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for me, socializing relies on conscious OODA loops the loops are pretty fast these days but I manage them intentionally. letting my brain just do its own thing doesn't work very well I have heard that other people can socialize intuitively and I am jealous of their arcane power
it's very difficult to talk about because we don't have a succinct way to differentiate "social muscle memory" (what I have developed) from "social intuition" it's not even clear that these are different things at core — maybe it's a continuum
My guess is that they're not all that different, though age perhaps plays a role. People who developed social muscle memory for certain types of thing at a younger age may appear & feel more natural later. Ofc, practicing something for years usually makes it seem more natural!
i nominate this as the Archimedes Screw of Intuition Pumps, going around & around, always trying to figure out which direction is up. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Archimedes%27_screw …
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