michael_nielsen

Haha yeah choosing your spouse is definitely one of core instantiations of this. Last few weeks have been having lots of debates among friends around many aspects of this specific one haha

What are the salient aspects?

- how structure of ecnmy is affecting changes in marriage norms - Unpacking variables involved. Basically I suspect need to believe in internal compounding of pairwise utility for monogamy to be dominant. Which I do - how much focus allocation should be on relationship - etcetc

On 2 - why would people not believe in compounding of utility? (Unless they have dysfunctional attachment styles I guess)

On 3 - I've been considering this recently. Long-term partner and I are in a LDR, and both work unpredictable schedules, but large chunks of time off. Probably more 'quality time' spent on the relationship despite this than people who work predictable 9-5 commuter jobs

oh, that's interesting. There's whole separate much larger sphere of thought I'd say that falls into category of. Which I'd roughly summarize by saying I think we vastly underestimate utility throughput we can have at the head of our relationship curve (curve being x axis:

closeness/trust with person/group and yaxis: resonance/throughpout). I think we're at 8% not 80% efficacy of throughput at head of curve. Whole curve can get pushed out--but we don't even realize some levels of trust/closesness that are possible and then improved resonance.