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There's also a useful version of such critical remarks which can be made. One wants two things: (a) remarks which help people understand their own potential better; and (b) remarks which help people better understand what's involved in working in a particular field.
My interlocutors failed badly at both (a) and (b). In fact, it's clear they had no real data on (b) at all. And their judgement of (a) was perhaps distorted because I wasn't (to put it mildly) a respectful, obedient, easy-to-handle student.
I should add: I also had many remarkably encouraging mentors (Gerard Milburn, Ben Schumacher, Carl Caves, Halina Rubinsztein-Dunlop, and many more)
I was a good student (in the sense of: I got good grades). But people make judgements on many bases. The academic advisor was well intentioned. But I didn't fit his model of what a physicist should be, in ways I now realize were irrelevant.
"there is no good reason to tell a student she doesn’t belong in math. That’s the student’s decision. Not yours. You see the snapshot of her progress, but you don’t see her trajectory. You can’t know how she will grow and flourish in the future. But you can help her get there."
Those were from comments from a speech by former AMA president, Francis Su. https://mathyawp.wordpress.com/2017/01/08/mathematics-for-human-flourishing/ … An eloquent antidote to people who have a weed out mentality or those who want to tell people they are not cut out for something.
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