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the balkanization of chat has led to conversations (including work conversations) in text, email, slack, fb messenger, instagram, snapchat, and all forms chosen for reasons so subtle we can’t fully explain the rules - but we *know* them
There's a very interesting & surprisingly complex process of negotiating these things as you get to know someone, too.
dating!!!
Pretty much. Except for n ~ 100, instead of n ~ 1. The physicist in me wants to call this "dating in the thermodynamic limit."
I have research at Ixy that makes clear you're both right. Alas, most people don't have patience for the negotiation part - so they either never get close or they fall out with existing IRL connections.
What seems like *knowing* is more like extra carefulness - because there's no way to really know, you avoid anything you presume might lead to a problem. This greatly diminishes the intellectual scopes of conversations.
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