I'm training to be a counselor for Crisis Textline (CTL), an asynchronous resource for cooling people down from hot moments. Already, I've learned a lot. CW suicide etc. Thread:
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I'm often cynical about organizations and institutions. This one is astoundingly effective and actually trying. The online training is great. CTL has the world's largest database on crisis conversations, and they're using it to increase the effectiveness of volunteers like me.
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They can assert things like "if you use the words 'strong/brave/proud', the texter is X% more likely to rate the conversation as helpful." Or, that the data debunks the myth that bringing up suicide will plant the idea in someone's head, and that it's safer to ask explicitly.
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Even the training is emotionally hard! I'm remembering the times in my past when I could have used someone like me, and wishing I (or someone else) had been there for past-me. Plus it's tiring to rewire thought patterns.
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The guidelines are consistent with Authentic Relating (AR) and Non-Violent Communication (NVC). It's about empathy and listening, not judging, sympathizing, or trying to fix problems. broke: "I'm sorry" "have you tried X?" woke: "I hear you" "what does help look like for you?"
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Longer conversations aren't more helpful. Once you build rapport, explore the issue, know what they're looking for, collaboratively search for solutions together, and make a plan, stop! Rumination and repetitive circling around are easy patterns to fall into.
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rationalist, dungeon master, writer