There is no correlation between being nice and having sex. It's way more complicated that that. So even though I would have liked to not be single, it never affected my self esteem much - I think I'm a pretty nice guy, if insecure and (under circumstances) shy.
The general opinion seems to be that the people being called incel are assholes so they deserve the slur. And it is a slur; I'd hate to be called one. Thing is, there's plenty of real assholes who have actually reproduced, and plenty of pretty nice people who are still single.
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But now I know of this word, and now I know that there is so much contempt for involuntary celibates. So now it IS a thing. And it DOES affect my self esteem. You know how you can fret over that unexplained gap in your resume when you apply for a job? That is me now.
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