On the fight/flight/freeze/appease spectrum my reactions are almost always solidly in the appease corner (sometimes spilling over into flight or avoidance). But due to some shitty star alignment or something, this weekend i am nothing but fight fight fight
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It’s like something in me has just snapped and I went from “regular amount of patience” straight to “zero patience, and fuck you too by the way”
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I hate being angry, I am bad at being angry, the whole thing is extremely distressing, etc
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Normally I would prefer to just be angry at myself and keep it a closed system. I’m good at being the target of anger! I’m very blameable and I cave quickly. Being angry at other people is like ... I get 5 mins of it before I start crying and wind up apologizing.
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If I’m going to humiliate myself, I’d rather just do it in the privacy of my own head
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Being a person is such a nightmare tbh
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