We just got our wedding photos back and I about died laughing. The photographer caught my favorite moment in the ceremony PERFECTLY.pic.twitter.com/FzyWYF03sZ
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SRE@PagerDuty. Geek, Buddhist, husband, introvert, devop, social justice worrier, musician, vegetarian, urbanist. He/him. May all beings be free from suffering.
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We just got our wedding photos back and I about died laughing. The photographer caught my favorite moment in the ceremony PERFECTLY.pic.twitter.com/FzyWYF03sZ
The story here is this: When I was a teenager, I got into a snowball fight with my Uncle Larry and beaned him so good in the face that he vowed revenge. He'd get me back, he swore, on my wedding day. "A pretty white snowball to the face to match your pretty white dress."
(As if I was ever going to wear a pretty white dress.) For years, Larry reminded me of that vow. Any time the subject of me dating came up. Any time we talked about the future. He was one of my favorite people, and a nemesis I would one day have to face off against.
Larry died in 2013, two years before Pip and I started dating. But the vow lived on. When Pip and I got engaged, I knew I'd need my Aunt Suzy there to get the deed done. She didn't have a begrudging bone in her body, but she was married to Larry for 40+ years, so she understood.
This is the same aunt who wrote that lovely poem about my pronouns that went viral a while back, and yes, she is amazing. Naturally, when I asked her to throw a snowball at me on my wedding day, she said she'd be honored.pic.twitter.com/w0PdWBXhE5
But the thing is, we couldn't have a real snowball for the wedding. This was September, at the tail end of a muggy Minnesota summer. Any snowball saved in the freezer from last winter would have been a jagged ice bomb, and I value my glasses too much for that.
So we decided on a nice polyester fake snowball. I bought the smallest amount of them that I could find...which turned out to be 20. We handed them off to our wedding party, assuming that my aunt would throw a snowball or two and kids could play with the rest during the reception
Little did we know that before we arrived for the ceremony, our sneaky wedding party would distribute those extra snowballs among the guests. So after Aunt Suzy tossed a snowball and it whiffed my sleeve someone yelled and a BARRAGE OF SNOWBALLS LAUNCHED FROM THE AUDIENCE
Most of them missed us, but the very last snowball--which our adopted niece/eternal houseguest Queerling swears she threw--ricocheted off a tree and bounced right off the side of my face. That moment was also immortalized in film. Uncle Larry's vow of revenge was satisfied.pic.twitter.com/PiL48XCgSG
jeez now i have to live the rest of my life knowing that i missed the Best Party
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