Hello friends, I have a new collection of short fiction that you can buy for your Kindle for $2.99 (amazon.com/dp/B09RVJB2RX) or in print for the staggering sum of $8.00 (amazon.com/dp/B09RM4PZB1).

amazon.com

Ephemera

Rabbits are stalking a drunk driver that ran over one of their kind, an old and forgotten video game is sending strange messages to the man playing it, and a forgotten silent film is the key to...

Way too lazy to actually make the photoshop, but imagine Doctor Manhattan with Kyrie's face saying "It's 2017. I'm ecstatic to be joining the Celtics. It's 2023. I'm ecstatic to be joining the Mavericks. It's 2019. I'm ecstatic to be joining the Nets."

Mark Hill

@mehil

Feb 4

Guess I’ll have to do it manually

I can’t believe Twitter announced its API change right before my hourly 80 for Brady quotebot was going to go live

In Canada Disney+ gets a lot of stuff that's put on Hulu in the States, meaning we get rapid-fire ads with intense music that boldly declare: "BLACK PANTHER. STAR WARS. HOW I MET YOUR FATHER."

Mark Hill

@mehil

Feb 3

Oh and they're a self-described "book slayer." Christ warned us of this.

The whole thing is 1500 words long

I don't really consider myself a theologian but I am positive that Goodreads reviewers will not see the light of heaven

I just left a hipster coffee shop, it was packed with liberals whispering about how they're planning to read my horror story collection. "Makes for perfect weekend reading," one of them said. Their words, not mine.

amazon.com

Ephemera

Rabbits are stalking a drunk driver that ran over one of their kind, an old and forgotten video game is sending strange messages to the man playing it, and a forgotten silent film is the key to...

Rabbits are stalking a drunk driver that ran over one of their kind, an old and forgotten video game is sending strange messages to the man playing it, and a forgotten silent film is the key to...

Mark Hill

@mehil

Feb 2

It's not the biggest problem in the world but I feel ads for goofy phrases put on shirts are putting less and less effort into pretending that they'll be legible. This looks like a shirt you'd mod into Skyrim

Mark Hill

@mehil

Feb 2

Has anyone ever been more divorced than "move to another continent to suck up to an autocrat but accidentally piss him off instead" divorced

thebulwark.com

How Rod Dreher Caused an International Scandal in Eastern Europe

Blogging and backtracking.

Mark Hill

@mehil

Feb 2

Wow, Twitter really does keep falling apart right before our eyes, this obviously should have had several thousand likes? Guess Musk can't even keep the counting machines running these days.

Not saying that Google is getting dumber but I had to look up "particle accelerator" and it suggested the autofill of "particle accelerator near me"

Mark Hill

@mehil

Feb 1

"I'm sorry, babe, obviously you can dwell in a cave as well as any man"

I think AI writing still has a ways to go if it's suggesting that I be more progressive by calling the women in my life troglodytes

Every creative form should use classical music's method of assigning opus numbers to work. Every dumb essay I write should have an opus number. "Right Thurr" should also be known as Chingy's Op. 4.

Announcing my departure from Twitter, my new social media platform will be the YouTube comments where 40 something guys reminisce about going to the record store to pick up the Living Daylights soundtrack

Mark Hill

@mehil

Jan 31

Websites are struggling to get by on ad revenue, you say

Mark Hill

@mehil

Jan 31

"Meet the Spartans" being the third most-watched movie in the country today is either an outrageous lie or a national crisis

Mark Hill

@mehil

Jan 31

I appreciate that Wikipedia's "List of slang names for cannabis" has an entire section dedicated to names some dweebs at the DEA made up and no one else could verify.

Mark Hill

@mehil

Jan 30

Now I know you're not supposed to spend your tax refund before you get it, but with a sale like this...

Mark Hill

@mehil

Jan 30

Working on that magazine cover pose

Mark Hill

@mehil

Jan 30

Unfortunately this also means that Arcade Fire's first album was never released, but on the plus side survivors were spared the additional pain of dudes with the worst facial hair you've ever seen insisting on talking about it while on corpse burning duty together.

This of course foreshadows Joel softening his heart and performing a touching rap rock anthem for Ellie, but it also broadly contextualises the apocalypse as an event where countless people could at least take comfort from Durst's stirring rendition of "Behind Blue Eyes."

One of the Last of Us' most impressive strengths is the way it casually tosses out crucial information, for example last night's episode clarified that infection day was September 26, 2003, a mere three days after the release of Limp Bizkit's "Results May Vary."

So is this the right week to break out my Last of Bussy joke or do I save it

Mark Hill

@mehil

Jan 30

Rooting for the Bengals because the guys on the sidelines in big black coats and striped helmets look like furry Sith

Mark Hill

@mehil

Jan 29

“Bite anyone, even if they’re not a zombie yet”

Mark Hill

@mehil

Jan 28

Can we make this the new “It’s the weekend” meme, feels like it has potential

Quote Tweet

William Blake

@artist_blake

Jan 28

Automated

Glad Day or The Dance of Albion, 1794 #symbolism #blake wikiart.org/en/william-bla

Mark Hill

@mehil

Jan 27

I'll be on the radio this afternoon with a vaguely threatening message

Quote Tweet

QR Calgary

@QRcalgary

Jan 27

"Afternoons" with @angelakokott4AB 1:05 MP"s to pay their internet bills @taxpayerDOTcom 1:35 Trudeau and Poilievre need to stop insulting one another @JohnIbbitson 2:05 International Holocaust Remembrance Day 2023 @bnaibrithcanada 2:35 Canadians get what they deserve @mehil

Mark Hill

@mehil

Jan 27

If horny law is unenforced, horny offenses grow bolder by the day

I wrote the latest episode of Honest Ads, if you pay close attention you may notice that the "HCU" is a subtle parody of an actual film series. We tried to do something a little different for this one, please do not punish us for our hubris:

youtube.com

If Comic Book Movies Were Honest | Honest Ads

What if Marvel and DC and everybody else were honest about how they make their dumb comic book movies? Roger Horton investigates.SUBSCRIBE HERE: http://goo.g...

Mark Hill

@mehil

Jan 27

If I die under mysterious circumstances this weekend it's probably because Edward Rogers III was nice enough to take some time out of his busy day and read my latest

@TheHubCanada

column:

thehub.ca

Terrible service for an outrageous price—Suck it up, Canada, that's the best offer you're getting -...

Canadians pay exorbitant prices to travel or to use our phones simply because the airlines and telecom companies in this country are shielded from any meaningful competition. Their service sucks,...

Mark Hill

@mehil

Jan 26

My latest masterwork

Quote Tweet

The Beaverton

@TheBeaverton

Jan 26

Sex playlist a little heavy on the banjo thebeaverton.com/2023/01/sex-pl

Photo of a man and woman kissing in bed with an inset photo of a banjo on the upper left side.

read image description

ALT

Mark Hill

@mehil

Jan 25

I have seen Twitter talk about Tár for four months and I'm still unclear on whether anyone likes it or not

Mark Hill

@mehil

Jan 25

I understand that the government wants to make it clear that it's using do not reply emails, but I can't help but worry that it's sending an unintended message here

Mark Hill

@mehil

Jan 25

Admittedly much of this was already covered in Emmanuel Macron's speech, but I think I put my own twist on the subject matter

As the parades begin and the international news coverage continues, I offer my own modest contribution to the global celebration of Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters' 10th anniversary:

inverse.com

10 years ago, Jeremy Renner starred in the worst action movie you'll never forget

Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters is dumber than a bag of hammers, but it has the impact of one too.

Bold interpretation of "shows off" here