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2017 is by far orange's worst year in the history of color, ever.
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Welcome to the orangepacalypse.
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Sometimes I think about you when I pee.
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5/4 be with you.
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My moustache tastes like nickels
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I aspire to the level of confidence it takes for a naked middle aged man to comfortably chat up another naked man in the gym locker room
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TAMW you're alone at the bar & the bartender catches you tying the cherry stem in a knot & buys you a drink. Someone's getting lucky tonight
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When your hair matches your chair. Nice job coloring your toupee
@realDonaldTrumppic.twitter.com/ZqBRW0HRki
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My shirt is too tight. Or my nipples are just really big. I'm not sure.
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Just realized my underwear are on inside out. I like to live life on the edge.
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Sometimes I leave my zipper down on purpose. Just to see who's eyeing the goods.
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Just FYI if you have a
#unicornfrappuccino in the afternoon your day will end with the most ferocious diarrhea you've ever experienced. WhoaThanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo -
So this is what drinking bleach is like.
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Don't let me die in vain, viva la frapsistance!
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Crashing from a sugar high with the taste of sour birthday cake in my mouth... this may be my final sleep
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Is it possible to get instant onset diabetes?
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I hope I'll be able to collect disability after this
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WHY AM I DRINKING THIS POISON?
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You'd think sour birthday cake and regret would taste better with vodka, it doesn't. But at least it's getting me drunk.
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I wonder if I put vodka in this if it will taste better.
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