Medical Axioms

@medicalaxioms

I'm an academic hospitalist who shares medical axioms, aphorisms, & wisdom for the betterment of medical providers everywhere! Tweets are not medical advice.

United States
Joined October 2010

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  1. Pinned Tweet
    13 Nov 2018

    If you want to become a really good doctor, you have to learn to take advice you don’t want, from people you don’t like, said in a way you don’t enjoy.

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  2. Retweeted
    16 hours ago

    Axiom 718: Most residencies are just long enough to teach you that rare things exist and that they never happen

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  3. Retweeted
    17 hours ago

    Axiom 579: Choose your words carefully. You’ll forget them in a minute. Your patients will remember them for a lifetime. (BTW, buy the book if you haven’t already done so)

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  4. 18 hours ago

    Found a box of 45s to go with my new record player. I’m just putting them on one after another. Some wonderful surprises!

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  5. 18 hours ago

    This is my new theme song for 2019.

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  6. 19 hours ago

    Found a box of 45s to go with my new record player. I’m just putting them on one after another. Some wonderful surprises!

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  7. Retweeted
    Jan 3

    How would you respond if someone tells you, “STFU and hope you die”?

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  8. 22 hours ago

    So yeah after a marathon of work I’m trying to get psyched up for a ultramarathon funeral weekend. Rally time!

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  9. 22 hours ago

    It really put everyone at ease and reminded us all, even that surprising morning, of what we hadn’t lost and how things weren’t as bad as they might have been.

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  10. 22 hours ago

    After my pop shot himself in what was supposed to be a murder-suicide (my mom declined his offer), my Uncle David strolled I’m in his sweater and said, “I heard we could have had a double header!”

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  11. 22 hours ago

    When I get free of this broke down frame I hope you tell a funny story without your grief face on. Loosen up and remember the dead fella when he still had some blood and passion pumping in his arteries.

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  12. 22 hours ago

    When you show up at a funeral, bring a light heart and a jolly attitude. The dead bro does not want to see all your somber whispering.

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  13. 22 hours ago

    Wailing and lamenting don’t bring no dead man back from the dead.

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  14. Retweeted
    Jan 3
    Replying to and

    Currently withdrawing from the utility of the paper note, after my (Australian) hospital moved to EMR. How will I ever map abnormal breath sounds to the lungs, or draw pictures of surgical drains in charts again?!😭

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  15. Jan 3

    Considering the alternatives, stopping at the grocery store on the way home from the evening shift, buying an apple pie and eating most of it when I got home is not a bad decision.

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  16. Retweeted
    Jan 3

    I've always called these Christmas Trees, I guess I stand corrected.

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  17. Retweeted
    Jan 3

    All these drug shortages, but how are we NOT out of vanco and zosyn?

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  18. Retweeted
    Jan 3

    I don’t use a lot of mnemonics in clinical practice, but this is a great one to run through when your intubated patient crashes: “DOPES” Displaced Tube Obstructed Tube Pneumothorax Equipment Failure Stacked Breaths

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  19. Jan 3

    If the patient can’t tell me what happened an hour ago they aren’t asymptomatic. They may be disoriented or delirious but they cannot be asymptomatic. Asymptomatic people can tell you with certainty what symptoms they have not been having.

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  20. Retweeted
    Jan 3

    I am DONE with 2019

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  21. Retweeted
    Jan 3

    12 years of higher education so I can give expert medical advice, yet here I am sweating in my bathtub, drinking a hot toddy, about to slather myself in Vick’s VapoRub...so in case you ever wanted medical advice from my mom, here I am, I’ve turned into her.

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