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I’ve never been called evil genius by so many people! Glad to have spread some sprouty seasonal lols
The situation hasn’t escalated...yet.
(Any articles on this have been done after donations to @Shelter - if, like me, you have a conscience to salve then they’re pretty great)Show this threadThanks. Twitter will use this info to make your timeline better. UndoUndo -
I am still chuckling. I will all day long. I know his retribution will be swift and terrible, but no Christmas gift could be greater than this: seeing my Dad, despite his efforts to avoid it, unwittingly eat a raw sprout. Merry Christmas, one and all.pic.twitter.com/RYV6pvYqbe
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And Lo! He opened. He EXAMINED. He unwrapped. He examined FURTHER. Fears allayed, he popped the whole thing in his mouth. His face played a symphony of emotions: satisfaction, triumph, smugness, consternation, confusion, realisation, horror, disgust.
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This bright Christmas morning we were gathered round the tree, drinking tea and opening presents. Dad eyed the box. He quite likes a post-brekkie Ferrero. He approached. I hovered in the kitchen, careful not to spook him.
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Last night he viewed them with suspicion when they came out the bag... but I was out all day, how could I have tampered with them? He abstained and they sat in the kitchen all night.
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I re-wrapped and (this is crucial) re-sealed the box with its original tape and a tiny dab of glue. Then secreted it amongst a bag of tasty gifts from my Aunt and retired to watch from afarpic.twitter.com/hkIThpvByI
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While he was out I dipped the sprouts in chocolate, rolled them in chopped hazelnuts, and did all I could to replicate the iconic Ferrerro.pic.twitter.com/UgvLOXeXWJ
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And so, yesterday, home for Christmas and with the devil at my elbow, I embarked on my most audacious sprout prank yet.pic.twitter.com/zr24u6Ve0g
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Last year I decided to play the long game & didn’t tamper with the confectionary: spooked by the year before, he would not touch a single Ferrero Rocher (which was great because he usually inhales them at 750mph) so there were Ferreros aplenty for the rest of us. I bided my time.
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Some of you out there may recall that in 2016 I played an excellent Christmas prank on my long-suffering Dad. It worked a treat.pic.twitter.com/srfaVgLF2J
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What a wonderful way to finish up for Christmas: amazing music in a beautiful place with extraordinarily talented, fun and lovely people. Heading home with a gladdened heart
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I had never heard this utter gem before! Indebted to this thread for bringing the album to my attention and for being hilarious and BANG ONhttps://twitter.com/treygraham/status/1074904805796134912 …
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This feels a lot like my December. “Someone here must want a goddamn partridge”https://twitter.com/billyeichner/status/1075104158364196866 …
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In the midst of the carolocaust, there is gingerbread.pic.twitter.com/oBZSKAno1j
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Early Christmas present:
@ABRSM results are in and all my little darlings passed (most with merit/distinction). Yaldi!pic.twitter.com/TQsvs9Fo27Thanks. Twitter will use this info to make your timeline better. UndoUndo -
Looking forward to Christmas at home... although last time I was back north for some work I foolishly mentioned relocation fees and tax deductible expenses to my father only to be met with this gem, so heaven knows what awaits me this time.pic.twitter.com/QBJQEyMgyJ
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She’s up and SPARKLY. Our little Brockley tree is covered in chocolate, candy canes and glittery dinosaurs, sloths & tigers. Obviously.
#weretheyatthenativity?#probably.pic.twitter.com/KvBdCBmxhPThanks. Twitter will use this info to make your timeline better. UndoUndo -
Judy Brown Retweeted
The 12 Days of Christmas according to Die Hard, courtesy of
@Cassetteboy.#DieHardIsAChristmasFilmpic.twitter.com/IxyTAu3QhjDie Hard is a Christmas Film
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