i vacillate a lot on what my greatest fear is, but right now i feel relatively certain that it's my ass catching on fire from a votive candle at an "intimate" restaurant where the tables are too close together
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While that is horrifying (and quite possible) to imagine, my real fear is scraping some poor stranger’s dinner right off the table with my behind.
The answer here is to have all food delivered and eat on your couch in your pajamas.
