erin mccann |Verified account

'I was trying to play hip-hop,' he says, to no one in particular. 'There's no way I played this.'

He's singing now.

Honestly one of my favorite things about NYC is that I have a people-watching bar across the street from a drinking bar.

It's *so* important to indulge in both.

We are now discussing YMCA memberships.

'We're cash only,' he tells a customer as the Talking Heads play 'Really?' customer asks, as if he's never been in a Brooklyn bar 'Really.'

'I missed a yoga session today,' that customer complains to someone on the other end of his cellphone.

Truly, I want you to narrate my life. On your days off, I'll get Morgan Freeman to pinch hit.