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  1. Retweeted
    Feb 17

    New year, New me

  2. Feb 17

    👏 NOT 👏 EVERY 👏 INSTA 👏 STORY 👏 NEEDS 👏 TO 👏 BE 👏 A 👏 BOOMERANG 👏

  3. 6 Nov 2016

    Email: the original DM.

  4. Retweeted
    27 Oct 2016

    I'll be going as 7 dollar sandwich for Halloween. Very scary indeed.

  5. Retweeted
    29 Jul 2016

    Ok but the 1996 DNC was lit

  6. Retweeted
    29 Jul 2016

    Top 5 most memorable lyrics of 2006: 1. When I was 2. A young boy 3. My father 4. Took me into the city 5. To see a marching band

  7. Retweeted
    2 Jul 2016

    If people stopped making animated GIFs of women in movies looking grossed out, internet journalism would die.

  8. Retweeted
    25 Jan 2016

    Humans feel volume, not area.

  9. Retweeted
    5 Feb 2016

    Spotted: UW engineering students being rude af and purposely stomping on the hawk

  10. Retweeted
    22 Jan 2016

    Overheard at the gym: Quads are like leg biceps bro. And your hamstrings are basically leg triceps.

  11. Retweeted
    5 Jan 2016

    Destroy those holiday gains with the weight loss program preferred by blue hedgehogs everywhere: going fast.

  12. Retweeted
    17 Nov 2015

    twelve year olds out there having sex and im the one who stays in to read about dinosaurs lmao damn

  13. Retweeted
    17 Nov 2015

    Week 2 of Intern Project Presentations at Yelp ft ❤️

  14. Retweeted
    29 Dec 2011

    Sew one button, doesn't make u a tailor; cook one meal, doesn't make u a chef; but f* one horse and u r a horsef*er for all of history...

  15. Retweeted
    13 Nov 2015

    Paris, you're in our hearts and thoughts... (Photo by Lamirgue Guillaume)

  16. Retweeted
    12 Nov 2015

    barber: what u want fam guy: lemme get that y = e^x barber: say no more

  17. 11 Nov 2015
  18. Retweeted
    11 Nov 2015

    no better way to remember grandad then with a 50/50 blend tee and a gold unitard!!!!

  19. Retweeted
    11 Nov 2015

    Police are working an ongoing critical incident at St. Luke's Hospital (3555 Cesar Chavez)- please avoid the area until further notice.

  20. 10 Nov 2015

    Living in the US, I miss the poppy on Remembrance Day. The day just sneaks up on you, you forget about it. In Canada I was reminded everyday

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