“Angela Merkel says you’re an inhuman mons—“ “—I had a threesome with some Playboy Playmates while my wife was in labor.”
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“We have a video of Putin giving you a high-five on election ni—“ “—I’m deporting all Spanish-speaking immigrants under the age of five to Yemen, effective immediately.”
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“New documents show that the head of the EPA received a ‘consulting fee’ from Exxon consisting of a brand new Panamax tanker.” “I just threatened to give Jerome Powell a seven-hour nougie if he doesn’t lower rates to negative five percent.”
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