Matt

on tonight’s episode of quarantine adventures: @BobbyProchnow and i get trapped on our balcony. will any of our neighbor friends come rescue us? did i leave the door unlocked or will we have to call the building mgr? can we do contactless rescue? FIND OUT NEXT ON SICKSADWORLD

we go outside to check out some new lights and cushions. after sitting and enjoying the evening air, we move to head back inside, where a tasty dinner bobby has made awaits. but the glass door is locked. the latch had fallen on the inside. we are stuck, with no way in.

we try jiggling, shifting, nudging the door frame this way and that. but it’s no use. the glass pane is solid. on the other side, the instapot beeps long and loud. dinner’s ready.

we race through different options. do we need to call the building? if the front door is unlocked, maybe we can call a friend or coworker who’s in the building? i start looking through my phone. bobby doesn’t have his. i decide to message mark, who’s a few doors down.

mark is, funny enough, the reason we ended up living here. we know each other informally from work. when we toured the building, we loved it but they couldn’t show us an actual unit. we randomly ran into mark. he offered to show us his spot. 10 min later we signed the lease.

we haven’t really talked since we dropped off a bottle of scotch with a thank you note last year. but since he’s down the hall, i take a shot and message him. “hey mark, any chance you’re home right now?” “i am! what’s up?” “so...we...got locked out on our balcony...”

in retrospect, asking if someone’s home is kind of a strange one during this time. i suppose most people are home and have been home. even though my brain functionally knows that, it still struggles to apply that knowledge consistently.

mark heads over. our front door is unlocked (thank god), so he treks in. he’s masked up (). we make eye contact through the glass door, and bust out laughing. “i can’t believe we are stuck on the fucking balcony”