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  1. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    3. velj

    my pizza rolls in the microwave be like

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  2. proslijedio/la je Tweet

    The Co-Chairs for the Gala on Monday, May 7th will be , Alessandro Michele, , , and Anna Wintour. But what to wear?

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  3. 21. tra 2018.

    we're budgeting again and realizing it's finally time to cut the dead weight...aka gym membership. not emotionally prepared to have them convince me our fitness is important and stuff...maybe we'll hire a taskrabbit to quit for us

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  4. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    9. tra 2018.

    Invest in the millennium. Plant sequoias. Say that your main crop is the forest that you did not plant, that you will not live to harvest.

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  5. proslijedio/la je Tweet

    Mary Slay Blige showed up in a chainmail chrysalis with metallic macrame wings at the and I am DONE.

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  6. 28. ožu 2017.

    Driving on a warm spring evening. Windows down. "Sweet Nothing" playing loudly for all to hear and enjoy. Never felt mo free

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  7. 19. pro 2016.

    Spotted: adolescent corgi wearing a boot cast on one leg. Makes me cry!

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  8. 14. stu 2016.

    I am getting my car washed and there are two folks actually slow dancing to Selena in the waiting area. This is fact, not fiction

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  9. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    9. lis 2016.

    When they go low, you go

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  10. 19. ruj 2016.

    Just saw a lady w a lizard on her car dashboard. Not sure if it was a live lizard or a taxidermy...also not sure which would be better

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  11. 7. ruj 2016.

    The city of Burlingame smells like Mrs. Fields

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  12. 5. ruj 2016.

    Behold: my high school poster likening the branches of the US govt to ...

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  13. 10. kol 2016.

    F'REAL? See previous tweet....

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  14. 10. kol 2016.

    I have been wanting to watch The Help for 2 weeks now. This afternoon i am making it happen. Thank u amazonprime for making dreams come true

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  15. 19. svi 2016.

    Back from vacation and thought I could be strong enough to do work. Lies. I'm eating poke and sitting on the sofa watching Survivor.

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  16. 7. velj 2016.

    Man next to me: "who's that?" Me: "that's bruno mars" Man: "and who is she?" Me: "thats beyonce" . . .

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  17. 1. sij 2016.

    Now he is counting them, as if each nail is one of God's promises to him.

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  18. 1. sij 2016.

    The fingernail man is currently clutching his nail trimmings loosely in his hand...as if he caught the golden snitch.

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  19. 1. sij 2016.

    My worst dreams are coming true as i tweet: a man on this bus is clipping his fingernails onto his lap. Why, Honolulu tourist, why?

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  20. 22. pro 2015.

    ATTENTION! on DVD for only $5 on . The perfect stocking stuffer for yourself.

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