TL;DR: Dude objectifies women. Blames them for not liking him. Decides to prey on women he deems beneath him instead. Lovely guy...
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Actually, it's written by Heather Dockray, a girl, and it is obviously meant to be a parody if you read it all the way through.
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Is this some sort of advanced irony? I honestly can't tell if it's satire or not. Mashable doesn't do satire, does it?
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@Wear_a_helmet this is so perfect - 1 more reply
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This was hilarious thank you for your take on this 


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"The body of a cocktail shrimp" killed me. Well done.
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Just stop.

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Oh man, I got nostalgic for Heather-centric content a couple of weeks ago. Great piece
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because he can't? I mean, .... he can't. Right?
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This is extremely cucked but relatable so props <3
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