Someone responds “Ligotti is better”. They rejected your gambit, they tried to raise their own status instead, and that of Ligotti. Now you have a bit of a fight, the stakes are low but the impetus is existential.
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You could escalate; you could attack Ligotti and through him, your enemy. You could ignore him; that sends it’s own signal.
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If you ignore every challenge, you look afraid. If you accept every challenge, you look insecure.
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When you argue with someone you both become galvanized. It is not always true that belief precedes utterance. Read your Cialdini; anything you hear yourself say, you start up to believe
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In Chinese POW camps they asked captured American soldiers to write and give speeches in which they said positive things about the CCP, and rewarded them with small comforts. By repeating this cycle over a series of months, American soldiers were radicalized against the USA
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You form your self-image by watching yourself, more than the other way around
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Every single word out of your mouth is a bid to raise or lower someone’s status relative to yours
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People get upset by this idea: “I’m not that calculating” but you don’t have to be. Your behaviors are mostly unconscious and mostly automatic and although the mind may compose a symphony, when the curtain is drawn, the music PLAYS ITSELF
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When you act out a behavior, and it brings you attention, you tend to repeat it. Action => attention => repeat. A habit is a loop, a relationship is a habit For every person in our lives, we have a script, which we act out over and over
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Life is mostly repetitive, and action is mostly habit. When we have a flattering story about our habits, that’s called fulfillment, but behind the story our motivations are usually simple and childlike
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Nothing wrong with this, though. In traditional societies, respectable adults were expected to be good storytellers.
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