Martha KellyVerified account

@MarthaKelly3

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Joined September 2011
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  1. 10 hours ago

    NO

    9 likes
  2. 23 hours ago

    Okay you got me, "womancusing" is a pretty good counter-burn for the term "mansplaining."

    4 retweets 25 likes
  3. 23 hours ago

    If there'd been internet during WWII and Hitler used a private email server, I'm guessing history's judgement of him would be pretty harsh.

    59 retweets 217 likes
  4. Oct 29

    This is tonight I heard there will be real ghosts there be careful they can takeover your body without you knowing.

    Comedy Seance ~ Spider House Ballroom
    8 likes
  5. Oct 29

    I never thought I'd be one of those people who meets their soul mate while waiting for a flight but here it is.💗

    3 retweets 54 likes
  6. Oct 27 Los Angeles, CA

    I must admit that I am kind of curious how badly Donald Trump would fuck up that weird turkey pardoning thing that every President must do.

    5 retweets 52 likes
  7. Oct 27

    RIP Vine

    Jamaican Sea Otter #briskcuts ™djcнrιѕѕaydιѕнoттa✊#YᐯE{ᗷᐯᑕ•ᒍᗩ}
    Vine by Brisk God
    View on Vine
    1,047 retweets 1,409 likes
  8. Oct 27

    💗💗💗💗💗

    RIP to Vine. was very good at it. I think about this one a lot
    5 likes
  9. Oct 27

    It seems you don't understand comedy Or tragedy.

    this is a tragedy...vine did so much for the comedic form...i can name 100 vines that are funnier than any netflix standup special
    2 retweets 53 likes
  10. Oct 25

    The army told veterans to pay back $21,000. They're like my weird cousin Milky who says I owe him but I've bailed him out of jail 4 times.

    2 retweets 13 likes
  11. Oct 25

    Just a gentle reminder that if democracy fails, we can kiss this guy and his brethren goodbye. 💔

    1 retweet 25 likes
  12. Oct 25

    Tomorrow (Wed 11/26) I'm going to do CommuniKate at the UCB Franklin or die trying guys it's nuts out there. P.S. is the BEST💗

    15 likes
  13. Oct 24

    Keeping this guy in the car to see if someone leaves an angry note about leaving dogs in hot cars. Sorry.

    2 retweets 32 likes
  14. Oct 24

    Guys I don't care what women say behind your backs you're great at answering car questions! 💗💗💗

    1 retweet 22 likes
  15. Oct 24

    Guys that wasn't a joke. Sorry but sometimes shit gets real at the oil change place.

    1 retweet 20 likes
  16. Oct 24

    Is $89.99 reasonable for getting transmission fluid drained and replaced?

    4 retweets 17 likes
  17. Oct 24

    Road Chip was a bummer. Bring back happier Chipmunk movies. How about Chip-a-Dee-Do-Da, Catch You on the Chip Side, or Chip Sync? Help.

    1 retweet 19 likes
  18. Oct 24 Houston, TX

    Putting on socks while standing up is a young man's game, apparently

    15 retweets 27 likes
  19. Oct 19

    MAYDAY

    6 likes
  20. Oct 19

    For god's sake

    7 likes

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