kelly

@marketableskill

woman of intrigue submerged in flowing grain

Joined July 2010

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  1. Retweeted
    5 hours ago

    some of my family friends are practicing Jews in Poway. seeing this again after Squirrel Hill is just... no words lots of love for my Jewish comrades today

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  2. Retweeted

    Is there a shorter way of saying “strike-replacement” teacher? Something Cute And Brief?

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  3. 23 hours ago

    Just wondering ummm why everyone in the world insists on persecuting me?

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  4. Apr 26

    Tired: all women are beautiful as they are Wired: capitalism conditions women to obsess over their bodies to maintain the patriarchy and sell shit Inspired: no weight loss is worth the horror of drowning in the vintage 70s plaid flare pants you love more than your own family

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  5. Apr 26

    I overcame crippling BDD and evolved into an adult woman with fairly healthy self-esteem, only to now be sabotaged by inadvertent weight loss & forced to abandon a third of my irreplaceable wardrobe, and I am going to Beat God’s Ass about it

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  6. Apr 26

    My office job is similar to my old restaurant jobs in that I fucked around at work for an extra half hour because that’s how long it takes me to finish a free IPA

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  7. Apr 26

    It appears my indifference to medieval r*pe and 3 hour long military recruitment ads is causing some controversy. I am begging all seriously offended parties to channel their fantasy hero children’s program fixations into Wreck-It Ralph like civilized human beings

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  8. Apr 26

    One single person I follow on twitter develop good taste challenge

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  9. Retweeted
    Apr 25

    Pay attention: this is where calls for climate action that are unwilling to consider systemic change lead us. Straight to climate barbarism. It is already well underway.

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  10. Retweeted
    Apr 25

    Is there such a thing as the best art ever? Yes, it's this illustration of a woman petitioning for divorce in the Ottoman kadi court. Her [bottom left] husband [bottom right] is claimed to be impotent, which is grounds for divorce. Judge [top] is inspecting evidence, her dildo

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  11. Apr 25

    Much like straight men, I love the idea of dating a hot idiot who’s just funny and interesting enough to realize how much funnier and more interesting I am, except they deserve electric chair and I‘m a groundbreaking feminist hero

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  12. Apr 25

    Every big tweet about straight women’s romantic choices is so unrelatable. I mainly land guys who are 2+ points more attractive than me... haven’t hooked up with a non-Hot in years... wasn’t aware that men had anything else to offer?

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  13. Apr 25

    Why did you do this. Why would you want to give a chimpanzee body dysmorphia

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  14. Apr 24

    I took Jim’s savvy advice and made a student loan payment using the $7 wawa gift card my grandmother gave me on Easter. I’m still $27,000 in debt and now a collection agent in Texas is mad at me

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  15. Apr 24

    These women stand to lose their jobs, homes, and children waiting for their day in court solely because they can’t afford bail - supporting them is a concrete way to fight jail policies that hold poor people hostage. If you donate please lmk so I can track my fundraising goal!

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  16. Apr 24

    Hey y’all, I’m working w the Philly Community Bail Fund campaign to get Black moms out of jail and home to their families by Mother’s Day - if you want to free women from Philly prisons and further the movement to end cash bail please donate with me!

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  17. Retweeted
    Apr 24

    if you have so many prisoners that you have to deny them the right to vote because they would significantly impact election results, the main substantive problem is that you live in a police state

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  18. Apr 24

    How do I feel about romance? Well,, none of the characters in my favorite romcom end up together, nor do the characs in my favorite romantic movie scene, and my favorite romantic song was written about the guy who made Dick in a Box

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  19. Retweeted
    Apr 23

    love this essay on the strange relationship you probably had with Payless if you grew up broke

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  20. Apr 23

    I’m lounging. I‘m eating phish food B&J’s, watching Lady Dynamite season 2, and blowing snot into paper towels, and I don’t want anyone to talk to me for the rest of my life

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