Basically it seems their engineering teams have, until now, considered it acceptable to have known-to-fault instructions operate on *complete garbage*, ignoring *all* privilege rules, as long as they will never retire.
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This is, of course, completely insane from a security perspective, and given that we're now acutely aware of speculation attacks, represents *many* different opportunities for leakage. L1TF and ZombieLoad are on a completely different class from Spectre/Meltdown.
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So my recommendation at this point would be to avoid Intel CPUs for several years if you care about this sort of thing, and OSes *need* to implement hyperthread pair privilege boundary separation, since that's most of the attack surface.
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For a second, I thought this was gonna be a metaphor explaining how CPUs work by comparing it to stuff from Zombieland Saga
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I should watch that show...
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