worm

@malt_skull

welcome to my jocular grotto

the grotto
Vrijeme pridruživanja: siječanj 2015.

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  1. Prikvačeni tweet
    10. velj 2019.

    (ASMR 5 minutes) my neighbor kicking a hole in my giant papier mache owl as I call 911

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  2. prije 3 sata

    [texting] me: well i'm going to sleef now her: haha ok good night :P [cut to me just 100% sleefing all night long]

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  3. proslijedio/la je Tweet

    me: yeah i pee sitting down, it’s the only way [later, on the toilet] me: [straining hard, as eventually a penis emerges slowly out of my butt and releases a steady stream of pee] ahhhh

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  4. prije 9 sati
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  5. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    1. svi 2019.

    I have to admit, every time they upgrade me to First Class for free, I get a

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  6. prije 16 sati

    vitamins are for wives, real men get scurvy and leave their teeth stuck in a mcrib

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  7. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    14. ožu 2015.

    [a romantic vacation] *I get on knee in front of gf* "Will you-" [Attenborough out of nowhere] "Here we see an ape courting a human female"

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  8. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    12. stu 2018.

    A dusty book thrown by an insane ape from a hundred paces clocks me on the noggin

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  9. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    7. ruj 2019.

    time to lay down and enter the world of dreams, where i will once again be torn in half by a 2d ape

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  10. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    24. tra 2017.

    as I part the vines and peer into the jungle, a fucked up looking ape jumps up & open palm slams my nose into my brain, killing me instantly

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  11. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    2. svi 2018.

    Devastating: This Man Mistook His Carbon Monoxide Alarm For His Ape Detector

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  12. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    5. velj

    Are you TIRED of having ALL THAT SKIN? Thanks to the makers of GRAK... GRAK grak grak grak

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  13. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    4. velj

    listen up good dm bullies, i will no longer "suck a fuck". i've sucked my last fuck you hear me!

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  14. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    4. velj

    I marvel as the budgie flock performs perfectly coordinated aerial twists, swirling like a fluid sheet across the sky. The group suddenly seems to notice me, momentarily pausing to form what appears to be…a giant hand? Are they trying to wave hello— nope it’s a middle finger.

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  15. 4. velj

    just had a 5 minute video call with my dad and me just yawning at each other the whole time

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  16. proslijedio/la je Tweet

    When you pop but she keep on shucking.

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  17. 4. velj

    omw to embrace the haters

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  18. 4. velj

    just remembered reince priebus

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  19. 4. velj

    why didn't MY parents teach me weather magic

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  20. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    4. velj

    world is a fuck

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  21. 3. velj

    dracula be like "van helsing retire bitch"

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