I am like right on the edge of being okay and walking normally. But still not quite there. I'm pretty wrecked still. Getting hurt ended up effecting me in lot of ways that you might not expect if you haven't been through it.
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Another thing is that when it's a struggle to move around it's much harder to cook and you end up eating a lot worse because you end up buying cooked food. Wife tried to do as much as she could but she works too and has her own struggles. So your health takes a hit.
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Haven't really been able to get out in nature like I usually do and that's very difficult for me mentally. Not being able to work out sucks too. That directly hits your confidence and health which in turn also hits your mood and mental health.
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Really I've just been shitty at self maintenance. Missed a haircut and I look real Haggard. Lost a lot of weight and lost most of my progress on my body. It's been pretty much a total quality drop for me.
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Besides all this, I was on hydrocodones for a long while and that's very bad hormonally. I supplemented to help counteract this. Now I'm on a bupe patch taper and I'm pretty worried about withdrawals when I have to drop those next month.
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All this to say, it's hard to just keep plugging away and I feel like I've lost a lot of who I was to the injury and it's consequences. How many times do all my efforts at self improvement have to get reset? I'm so close to being through it. I just need to get like 15% better.
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Then, I'll be able to feel more in control and more like my old self. Y'all have been really supportive so thank you. I'm hoping this six month period of compounded misfortune will be followed by an upswing of positivity.
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Probably the one thing that would have helped me most would have been an extended stint of being off work to deal with the problems directly and constantly instead of having to navigate life with a handicap. But that wasn't available.
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After they shut this plant down I'm planning on taking a fee months off and living on unemployment and savings to try for a heslth reset. Current goal is to be walking and sleeping without pain by the first frost which is usually in November.
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