This doesn’t mean trauma isn’t real or painful. It can be crazy painful sometimes. But we’re all equipped to stay with even the most heartbreaking thing and deal with it. And we’re all equipped to stay with other people’s suffering even if it triggers a past trauma of our own.
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Yes! Sharing the trauma makes it much easier to bear. But modern society actively discourages this. If you’re feeling depressed, the expectation is that you go see a therapist or take some pills. Sharing your trauma with friends or family is perceived as a burden.
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Was reading Alain de Boutain on something similar. He has an anti-self-development, pro-self-acceptance frame I really enjoyed. Not even trying to solve trauma: just accept it with grace and share it with others with humor.
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I look back on things that could have traumatized me if I'd had a different frame of mind. Maybe nothing "bad enough" happened, or maybe it is really about framing. Different societies frame things very differently, and as a result people have very different experience of trauma.
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These are the words we all needed to hear
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