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  1. Retweeted
    1 Nov 2013

    its the weekend baby. youknow what that means. its time to drink precisely one beer and call 911

  2. Jun 8

    I'm in an uber pool in Boston and this fucking dude is watching a video about the patriots without headphones. I hate him.

  3. Jun 8

    Lol kid on the train in front of me is watching a video of on his phone with the Etherum Wikipedia page is on his laptop

  4. Retweeted
    Jun 8

    We need to take the gavel from this embarrassment of a person.

  5. Retweeted
    Jun 8

    Can't wait to listen to it

  6. Jun 7

    Who do I have to overpay to do amazon training like in Wonder Woman???

  7. Jun 6

    This is my cousin's fucking bumble profile. Do you think I can show this to my grandpa and get him cut out of the will?

  8. Retweeted
    Jun 5
  9. Retweeted
    Jun 3

    the future is… good?

  10. Jun 4

    Just saw a sign for fidget spinners that listed one of their benefits as "help get rid of cell phone" 🤔🤔🤔

  11. Retweeted
    Jun 3

    Jeremy brought over his brothers CD of dookie!

  12. Jun 3
    Replying to

    I'm not going to tweet this whole thing but pig as the second song?!?!?!? This night might be my undoing

  13. Jun 3

    DAVE IS OPENING WITH CRUSH, FUCK ME UPPPPPPPP

  14. Jun 2

    Park ave summer fucked us all up but like in the best way possible

  15. Jun 1

    My friend just asked me to create a cheat sheet of my crushes bc she can't keep track of them 😭🤔😔🤷🏼‍♀️

  16. Jun 1
    Replying to

    I took my therapist's advice and it did not pay off as expected. Where is Carol?!?

  17. Jun 1

    my tolerance for alcohol is... not consistent

  18. May 31

    Tonight can be summed up by singing "boy problems" v loudly, which I will be doing whenever my drunk ass gets home 🤷🏼‍♀️

  19. May 31
  20. Retweeted
    May 30

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