Reynolds‽

@madamreynolds

Forensic accountant, bibliophile, classicist, eccentric. Lawful neutral. Ravenclaw. She/her. Call me Reynolds.

Portland, Oregon
Vrijeme pridruživanja: svibanj 2008.

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  1. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    28. sij

    I will never get tired of this video of Harry Connick Jr briefly fixing several thousand white people.

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  2. 1. sij

    Rabbit rabbit

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  3. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    23. pro 2019.

    At some point over the next week or so, you will find yourself idly poking at your phone while you're bored. Make that time useful by turning off tracking services! (Note: I only know how to do this on an iPhone) Brief thread because it's super-easy:

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  4. 7. stu 2019.

    My Lyft driver keeps telling me the wind is out to get him. How do I respond? Empathy? Anger? Vows to avenge him should the wind strike a fatal blow?

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  5. 10. kol 2019.

    Success before midnight!

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  6. 10. kol 2019.

    Is 8:55pm too late for a couple of sleepy people to start assembling a new bed frame? We’ll see.

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  7. 19. srp 2019.

    I thought I could avoid the CATS trailer, but a coworker who mistakenly thought her headphones were plugged in just played it at full blast for the whole office to hear. As least I haven’t had to look at the horrific creatures yet.

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  8. 12. lip 2019.

    It’s officially summer on the number 14 bus. I just witnessed two young women remove, trade, and reinsert jewelry from their respective nose piercings.

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  9. 3. lip 2019.

    I have a week of 15 hour workdays ahead of me, so of course I ended the first one with a manhattan.

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  10. 17. svi 2019.

    I am not the only overweight woman in a leather jacket at Hannah Gadsby’s Portland show tonight. How bout that.

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  11. 14. svi 2019.

    I just complimented a 5-year-old on how sparkly her shoes were and she started crying. I was sure that was a fool-proof conversation starter for a kindergartner. Wtf, kid?

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  12. 8. svi 2019.

    I am overly bothered by the woman I just witnessed using her middle finger’s print for Touch ID on her phone.

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  13. proslijedio/la je Tweet

    I know some of you are excited (?) about a possible Joe Biden presidential run, but hear me out: WHAT IF he opens a Coldstone Creamery franchise with a robust Instagram presence instead??? Feel like that would scratch that itch for you.

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  14. 3. tra 2019.
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  15. 28. ožu 2019.

    Turning 31. My middle school vice principal is two booths down at the new cocktail lounge in the hood. Adulthood is weird. @ 5&Dime

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  16. 22. velj 2019.

    It’s my second trip to Florida and I still hadn’t stepped foot in my boyfriend’s backyard until just now, at 4:15am, when it was on fire. Did y’all know how quickly palm trees burn? (Everyone/thing is okay, but that was a weird way to first encounter his lawn furniture.)

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  17. 17. velj 2019.

    February is too early for my first sunburn of the year.

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  18. 15. velj 2019.

    Today’s my last day as a federal employee. See ya later, feds! I’m off to a less terrible bureaucracy. But first, a vacation…

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  19. 9. velj 2019.

    The cemetery near my house looks like a perfect spot to build a snowman, but is it uncouth to have a jolly character amongst the dead?

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  20. 24. sij 2019.

    I’ll just play this to the grocery clerk and see if I can get some free food, eh?

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