to mourn the loss of Sexy M&M’s™️, here’s a ranking of most fuckable cartoon brand mascots.
1. Jolly Green Giant (10/10)
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macy
@macygilliam
my twitter isnt bad i just have to save all my good jokes for my job
Brooklyn, NYJoined May 2022
macy’s Tweets
If you’re in your twenties you can’t say you’re “too old for games.” You’re at the exact right age for games
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the weather’s nice so i walked all of manhattan from tippity top to tippity bottom (again)
highly recommend!
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can someone give me advice on what kind of crime to commit and where so that i end up in the same prison as Liz??
i just know we’d have so much fun together🫶🏼
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have you noticed that the sun no longer wears cool sunglasses and is never fixed to the top right hand corner in our field of vision?
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who up drinking their watered bottle
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come on guys this was funny
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when comes to you and asks for help coming up with a name for a socialist onlyfans influencer, that’s exactly what you do🫡
i love my stupid job. go watch dan’s new video
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What does a venture capitalist actually do?
Full video up now:
youtu.be/u8fDxtfw9RI
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get fucking stoked. new case study tomorrow
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i need a floor length mirror in every MTA station so i can send fit pics to my friends
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Jamie Dimon says JPMorgan rescued First Republic because the government asked his bank "to step up, and we did."
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In the 1990s, Paris was one of the most polluted, traffic-clogged cities in the world.
Today, the city is a world leader in sustainable urban development.
Here's the story of how Paris took back its streets from cars.
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bonding w the other cat owners at trader joes as we spend 15 minutes googling which flowers are non toxic to cats (it’s all the ugly ones)
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highly recommend!! im hosting my first party on monday. feeling very prepared thanks to Nick’s book!!
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fun sale: the paperback of my step-by-step handbook is $15 w/free shipping on Amazon today
you can use the checklists & scripts for:
a housewarming party
a networking event
a baby shower
a happy hour, etc
satisfaction guaranteed, just DM me
amzn.to/3AEUTx6
a housewarming party
a networking event
a baby shower
a happy hour, etc
satisfaction guaranteed, just DM me
amzn.to/3AEUTx61
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sorry i answered your text 0.5 seconds after you sent it. i haven’t set my phone down since 2017
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imagine ur at karaoke and someone goes up to sing prince and it’s david fucking byrne
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my mom is watching jury duty but she only calls james marsden “jimmy marsden” because she went to high school with him
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why spend the money to live in new york? easy. the culture.
Shen Yun last night and times square margaritaville today.
i spend $17,800/month to live in a closet in the west village but oh baby this makes it all worth it.
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not to brag but i did get invited to join the cult on my way out of shen yun tn😌😌
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Dril is Twitter’s pseudonymous poet laureate of shitposting. He’s also a real person, as much as some of his followers don’t want to believe it.
spoke with Dril in a wide-ranging conversation—and perhaps his first under his real name:
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Those gross viral videos on the subway literally exist to turn our brains into mush, so that we keep staring at the screens when actual ads appear. Whatta town.
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