Build a man a fire and he’ll be warm for the rest of the day. Set a man on fire and he’ll be warm for the rest of his life.
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𝗠𝗶𝗰𝗵𝗮𝗲𝗹 𝗖𝗹𝗮𝗿𝗸𝘀𝗼𝗻
@m_clarkson78
Giant nerd, comedian, and legend in my own mind. Posts are my own. I say fuck a lot. Pronouns are he/him/his.
#ExMormon son of a 70
𝗠𝗶𝗰𝗵𝗮𝗲𝗹 𝗖𝗹𝗮𝗿𝗸𝘀𝗼𝗻’s Tweets
Update to the balloon saga, the #ChineseSpyBalloon has been safely shot down over the Atlantic, where civilian populations were no longer at risk. Got anything to say now, ?
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There is no information the Chinese would gain from this balloon they haven’t already gotten from low orbit spy satellites. It wouldn’t even be worth attempting to shoot it down when you consider the risks. 🧵
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On top of all of that, when you hit a target that high it’s impossible to accurately predict where it lands. You don’t shoot something down over a civilian population without knowing for certain where it will land. 🧵
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Missile guidance systems aren’t designed to target balloons. They’d see a balloon as chaff, and missiles are programmed to ignore chaff. To hit it with a bullet would require a fighter jet to fly at least 10,000 feet higher than it was designed for, risking the pilot. 🧵
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The Chinese spy balloon is flying over 60,000 feet. Missile guidance doesn’t work at that altitude. The air is too thin. Fighter jets top out at 50,000 feet. We don’t have a reliable way to safely shoot down something that high without extreme risk to civilian populations. 🧵
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In case you didn’t know where the term cisgender comes from, the prefix cis comes from Latin meaning “on this side,” as opposed to “trans-” which means “on the other side of”. It’s not just a made up word. Cis is just the Latin opposite of trans.
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The DeSantis playbook on race and education is just an updated edition of what I saw in the South in the 1960s.
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Since wants the House Judiciary to be forced to say the Pledge of Allegiance before every meeting, he should be reminded that the Founding Fathers would have despised the concept of pledging allegiance to anything. The Pledge was written by a socialist in 1892.
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Boring people don’t win elections. If they can’t hold the average American attention span, they will lose no matter their qualifications. Occasionally we’ll get an Obama, qualified and charismatic. Then we get a Trump, chaotic and unqualified. Remember this in the primaries. 3/3
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JFK, Johnson, Nixon, Carter, Reagan, Bush Sr., Clinton, Bush Jr., Obama, Trump, and Biden were all more entertaining than their respective opponents. 2/3
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I have a theory about presidential elections. The most entertaining candidate has always won since we started televising elections. 1/3
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The perfect classic daiquiri:
2 oz Plantation 3 Star Rum
.75 oz fresh squeezed lime juice
.5 oz 2:1 simple syrup
Shake with ice and strain into a chilled coupe glass. Perfection.
Woke is legally defined as “The belief there are systemic injustices in American society and the need to address them.” The Venn diagram of people who use the term “woke” as an insult and people who are vile assholes is a perfect circle.
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I wonder what teenage Mormon me would think of 44 year-old me singing 4 Non-Blondes and Backstreet Boys at the top of my lungs with a full bar of beautiful gay people. I also wonder if he’d drop everything to feel this accepted and loved.
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There’s something so great about doing karaoke in a gay bar. Out at Blush and Blu on Colfax in Denver. This is the positivity soul needed.
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Dear police,
Stop killing innocent people. Keenan Anderson flagged officers down for a collision and was promptly murdered. The claim he was resisting arrest is irrelevant since there was no reason for you to be touching him in the first place. No crime had occurred.
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TW: death/state violence/police brutality
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On January 3, 2023 an unarmed Black man named Keenan Anderson was tased multiple times by LAPD officers, 4 hours later he was dead after suffering cardiac arrest. Keenan had flagged the cops down for help after a collision
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Conservatives need to learn something important about free speech. You are free to say anything you want. Everyone else is then free to tell you to fuck off for saying what you said. Free speech isn’t free from consequences.
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No one is trying to take your stove. We will warn you that gas stoves may be the reason your kid needs an inhaler and grandma got cancer. We may also push manufacturers to make new ones safer. But no one is banning them.
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Took a photo trip down memory lane. Me at 5, 15, 17, and today at 44. The today version is definitely the version that feels the most right.
If 6 Rs can put country before party (and Klan) and vote for Hakeem Jeffries we could finally put this to bed and the House could get to work.
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I was laughing about McCarthy until I found out Scalise was the backup candidate. Scalise spoke at the European-American Unity and Rights Organization, or EURO, founded by former Klan leader David Duke. Not that the GOP cares about being open racists anymore, but still...
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Fine, I nominate myself for Speaker of the House, since apparently anyone can.
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Whatever you’re doing right now, take a moment to enjoy these dapper little buddies. #goodestboys #dogsofinstagram
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Men,
This kind of shit happens all the time. Stop it. No one owes you their time. When you see your friends pulling this shit, stop them. If you are raising sons, teach them that this is unacceptable. If you aren’t part of the solution, you’re part of the problem.
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Hey GOP folks threatening that releasing Trump’s tax returns could lead to releasing SCOTUS returns, don’t threaten us with something we want. I think every government official, elected or appointed, should have their returns made public.
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Seriously, this kind of stuff makes my eye twitch. I’m a Senior Cloud Solutions Architect for IBM. I say from a place of expertise, Elon is writing the book on how not to run a cloud company.
How not to run a cloud company’s information security, a thread:
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NEW: Twitter currently does not have admin access to some of its GitHub repos. These repos contain Twitter source code (much of it is open source; some is not). This includes code for companies Twitter acquired, like Smyte. 1/
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Finally back from a stay in Twitmo. In case you were wondering, saying the same things to GOP folks that they say to others will still catch you a suspension.
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"...it would be the belief there are systemic injustices in American society and the need to address them." - Ryan Newman, Ron DeSantis's General Council defining the word woke.
So they do understand it. They are just evil.
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Lensa bandwagon picks part 2.
Jumped on the Lensa bandwagon. There are so many I love! These are the top picks.
So yes, America has become Sodom but not for the reason Christian supremacists spew. Jesus said, "Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me." Jesus would not have been a Republican. 3/3
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Every deity has one law in common. The law of hospitality. Zeus, Odin, Ra, Shiva, Jesus, etc all command in no uncertain terms that you feed the hungry, house the homeless, and welcome the immigrant. No matter which deity you worship, they all demand hospitality. 2/3
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Since Sodom is trending:
The sin of Sodom and Gomorrah wasn't homosexuality. It was greed and inhospitality. Ezekiel 16:49 makes this clear when he describes them as, "...arrogant, overfed and unconcerned; they did not help the poor and needy." 1/3
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Do you realize how hard it is to say no when you spend your whole life as a Mormon woman? Can you see what that means now?
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Fun fact from #LDS history:
In 1835, Apostle David W. Patten said he met Cain and his description of Cain matched stories of Bigfoot. Spencer W. Kimball quotes this insane story in The Miracle of Forgiveness in a section titled "The Murderer." Mormon doctrine is bananas.
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Also giving Tribel a try. I'm papawolf over there. tribel.com/papawolf/wall
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For those moving to Counter Social, I reactivated mine. Same as here, m_clarkson78, if you want to find me.
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We lost Jason David Frank, the original Green Ranger, to suicide today. If you are having thoughts of suicide, please reach out for help. Dial 988 or visit 988lifeline.org. You are not alone. RIP Jason.
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