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lyssmariem's profile
Alyssa Mercante
Alyssa Mercante
Alyssa Mercante
@lyssmariem

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Alyssa Mercante

@lyssmariem

SHE/HER very bi writer @gamesradar, perpetually horny on main, views are my own and i come correct 🌟INSTA: alyssamerk

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Joined December 2013

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    Alyssa Mercante‏ @lyssmariem 16 Dec 2019

    In honor of this week's debut of #StarWarsTheRiseofSkywalker, here's is a master list of the best and worst Star Wars names. Discussion is welcome, but please know I am always right. 30 best and 30 worst, in no particular order...

    1:59 PM - 16 Dec 2019
    • 7 Retweets
    • 31 Likes
    • drew GamesRadar+ Jordan Gerblick flower kind ♿️ 🌟💫🌞🌝💫🌟 Jason Fanelli ysenia valdez Patatouille Lindsey Salzer
    5 replies 7 retweets 31 likes
      1. New conversation
      2. Alyssa Mercante‏ @lyssmariem 16 Dec 2019

        [BEST] Padmé Amidala - It rolls off the tongue faster than you can say "I don't like sand." Despite the obvious issue giving a white actress a name that has Eastern origins, this is a beautiful and melodic name, one worthy of someone with a wardrobe like hers.pic.twitter.com/3MEBcTVIxv

        2 replies 0 retweets 5 likes
        Show this thread
      3. Alyssa Mercante‏ @lyssmariem 16 Dec 2019

        [WORST] Wedge Antilles - What the fuck is this. Wedge Antilles is one of the most important ancillary characters in the SW universe and he's got the name of someone I want to aggressively bully. Who hurt you, namer of Wedge Antilles?pic.twitter.com/6msQ1sN6T0

        1 reply 0 retweets 5 likes
        Show this thread
      4. Alyssa Mercante‏ @lyssmariem 16 Dec 2019

        [BEST] Cassian Andor - His personality may shift with little to no warning, but you can't fault his name. It's a good 'un, as my Northern English mates would say. It sounds debonair, like the name of a man who'd drop in, guns blazing, and kill my dad. Wait...pic.twitter.com/60xqSbYa4s

        1 reply 0 retweets 4 likes
        Show this thread
      5. Alyssa Mercante‏ @lyssmariem 16 Dec 2019

        [WORST] Ponda Baba - Ugly dude, ugly name. Pretty sure his nickname is Walrus Man, so between that and ol' Ben Kenobi slicing his arm off, he really lost the karmic lottery.pic.twitter.com/MuvNohMZLc

        1 reply 0 retweets 5 likes
        Show this thread
      6. Alyssa Mercante‏ @lyssmariem 16 Dec 2019

        [BEST] Cad Bane - Short, staccato, and bad (in a good way), this is the quintessential bounty hunter name. It attaches to your brain like the sucker on a rathtar, and as Count Dooku (bad name in a bad way) says, this mother fucker needs no introduction. His name is a legacy.pic.twitter.com/sqt2ECESbx

        1 reply 1 retweet 6 likes
        Show this thread
      7. Alyssa Mercante‏ @lyssmariem 16 Dec 2019

        [WORST] Tobias Beckett - This name sucks because it's fucking boring. This name is most of the white dudes in FiDi wearing quarter zips during casual Friday lamenting over their failed pro lax careers in the elevator. I hate this name. This name wears salmon shorts.pic.twitter.com/WhWjTzDGrY

        1 reply 0 retweets 3 likes
        Show this thread
      8. Alyssa Mercante‏ @lyssmariem 16 Dec 2019

        [BEST] Toro Calican - Harrison Ford wannabe headass, for sure (I'm clocking the earring, Toro), but the dude has a great name. Again, it's a name that slides out of your mouth like Baby Yoda spitting out a frog. It just *works*pic.twitter.com/vQcy8pdlab

        1 reply 0 retweets 4 likes
        Show this thread
      9. Alyssa Mercante‏ @lyssmariem 16 Dec 2019

        [WORST] Sio Bibble - The fact that this isn't the name of one of the countless puppets we get face-fucked with in the original trilogy is BEYOND me. Sio Bibble is a goofy white dude with a goofier mustache. His name sounds like baby spit up noises.pic.twitter.com/aO9Psw2yOH

        2 replies 0 retweets 3 likes
        Show this thread
      10. Alyssa Mercante‏ @lyssmariem 17 Dec 2019

        [BEST] Lando Calrissian - Everyone's favorite SW pansexual has got a name as smooth as warm honey, worthy of a '70s porn actor who would steal your man, your mom, and your spaceship. A name so good it mispronounces other names.pic.twitter.com/SH9DN3EuIG

        1 reply 0 retweets 2 likes
        Show this thread
      11. Alyssa Mercante‏ @lyssmariem 17 Dec 2019

        [WORST] Salacious B. Crumb - Yo fuck this guy. This guy stares at me on the subway with unblinking lizard eyes for my entire 45 min trip. He's clearly a sex offender, you didn't have to literally define it in his name. At that rate you could have called him Pervy P. Perv, ffs.pic.twitter.com/LdyW3lIv7X

        0 replies 0 retweets 3 likes
        Show this thread
      12. End of conversation

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