Luxeey

I did have a thing for fow. This is why its so messy because i wanted to be with him, i tried to justify what he did to me. I even started trying to act like i wanted what happened. But like i said he touched me without my consent. He pressured me into sex.

When i got into the smash scene i admired him so much, i wanted to be just like him. I always talked about how amazing he was. I drew him fanart. I wanted him to like me.

FOW and his group were the only friends i had at the time so the thought of having a falling out or him not liking me made me unbearably upset.

When fow started talking to me sexually i devopled stonger feelings for him, and he took advantage of that. He would tell me he doesnt like me and then he would ask for nudes or sexually talk to me which i took it as him developing feelings for me. This was him grooming me.

Right when i turned 18 it wasnt even a month in and thats when he touched me without my consent at the park. I never even asked him for anything like that. He then also pressured me into sex. Which i ended up pushing him off me.

To cope i started acting like i wanted it. That i was ok with that happened. Doing everything to make him like me and not see anything wrong, because i was also afraid of no longer having my only friends that were his friends. Mentally i was not ok.