Tweets

You blocked @Lucas_Gardner

Are you sure you want to view these Tweets? Viewing Tweets won't unblock @Lucas_Gardner

  1. Oct 25

    i gotta get one of those cushy morning show gigs where the whole job is to act baffled and say “so it’s called ‘Fortnite’? and you play it on the *computer*? haha oh good heavens”

    Undo
  2. Retweeted
    Oct 10

    it’s a very scary time for young men in America right now: it’s halloween!

    Undo
  3. Oct 22

    as a kid i would beg my parents to let me go to space camp but it was just too expensive. every year the same story... “sorry Lucas, we can’t afford to bring you to space camp with us.”

    Undo
  4. Oct 18

    my boy: you want a beer? me (wants a beer big time): uhh is Zendaya meechee?

    Undo
  5. Retweeted
    Oct 15

    MADE A HUGE ANNOUNCEMENT ON THE MTA! 🎈🎉🎈🎉🎈🎉

    Undo
  6. Oct 16

    r.i.p. to my main man Franklin who got hit by a car and died trying to take a picture of the Hot Ones guy

    Undo
  7. Retweeted
    Oct 16
    Undo
  8. Oct 16

    absolutely devastating....

    Undo
  9. Retweeted
    Oct 15

    "The 'Grain of Salt' package gets you my full name, home address, email, employer, all known aliases, and some fake aliases just to throw you off."

    Undo
  10. Retweeted
    Feb 19

    it is becoming clear to me now that all the dragonball z caption contests in the world can not fill the hole in my heart

    Undo
  11. Oct 8

    anyone mad at ariel dumas is full of shit and knows it. you’re playing dumb. eat shit!!

    Undo
  12. Oct 7

    me coming up with a senior thesis at the last minute. some alts: “Why Did Picasso Do That?” “What Was Rembrandt’s Deal?” “Pretty Crazy, Some of Salvador Dali’s Stuff”

    Undo
  13. Sep 28

    read this piece i wrote for to hear about all of my guys

    Undo
  14. Retweeted
    Sep 5

    🔥💖listen to the newest ep of Mary Houlihan’s Li’l Podcast, where Hot Mary teaches to be more confident, n maybe even get a lil gf😊💅🏻

    Undo
  15. Retweeted
    Sep 2

    look at lil dumbass and his lil dumbass certificate

    Show this thread
    Undo
  16. Retweeted
    Aug 22

    Putting a 'This Machine Kills Fascists' sticker on my $2500 macbook pro that I use to write my rejected New Yorker piece 'Walt Whitman on a Bumble date'

    Show this thread
    Undo
  17. Aug 21

    i muted everyone on social media who seems to be living well because i think it’s very rude to have fun publicly and now the only person i follow is this one kid i went to high school with who is still mad he got fired from Game Stop in 2016

    Undo
  18. Aug 19

    hey mom, i know you worry about how im doing out here in the city so, well, i just wanted to let you know that Alt-Right Fozzie Bear followed me today

    Undo
  19. Aug 18

    Domino’s forgot to turn off the pizza tracker after the guy delivered my pizza and i’ve been tracking him for a few days now. he has a secret family in New Jersey

    Undo
  20. Retweeted
    Aug 15

    In the latest ep of THE PODCAST FOR LAUNDRY, I've been a live-in nanny for a big celebrity (not telling) and I give a secret tour of his home! FUN EPISODE! Also who is texting me threats? Apple Podcasts: Spotify:

    Undo

Loading seems to be taking a while.

Twitter may be over capacity or experiencing a momentary hiccup. Try again or visit Twitter Status for more information.

    You may also like

    ·