Lucas Gardner

@Lucas_Gardner

damn ...

QUEENS
lucasgardnersthings.com
Joined March 2010
189 Photos and videos Photos and videos

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  1. Oct 25

    i gotta get one of those cushy morning show gigs where the whole job is to act baffled and say “so it’s called ‘Fortnite’? and you play it on the *computer*? haha oh good heavens”

    2 retweets 28 likes
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  2. Retweeted
    Oct 10

    it’s a very scary time for young men in America right now: it’s halloween!

    7 replies 388 retweets 3,028 likes
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  3. Oct 22

    as a kid i would beg my parents to let me go to space camp but it was just too expensive. every year the same story... “sorry Lucas, we can’t afford to bring you to space camp with us.”

    129 retweets 1,388 likes
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  4. Oct 18

    my boy: you want a beer? me (wants a beer big time): uhh is Zendaya meechee?

    21 likes
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  5. Retweeted
    Oct 15

    MADE A HUGE ANNOUNCEMENT ON THE MTA! 🎈🎉🎈🎉🎈🎉

    22 replies 92 retweets 1,304 likes
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  6. Oct 16

    r.i.p. to my main man Franklin who got hit by a car and died trying to take a picture of the Hot Ones guy

    1 reply 1 retweet 11 likes
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  7. Retweeted
    Oct 16

    4 replies 125 retweets 686 likes
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  8. Oct 16

    absolutely devastating....

    3 replies 1 retweet 51 likes
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  9. Retweeted
    Oct 15

    "The 'Grain of Salt' package gets you my full name, home address, email, employer, all known aliases, and some fake aliases just to throw you off."

    13 retweets 36 likes
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  10. Retweeted
    Feb 19

    it is becoming clear to me now that all the dragonball z caption contests in the world can not fill the hole in my heart

    3 replies 28 retweets 69 likes
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  11. Oct 8

    anyone mad at ariel dumas is full of shit and knows it. you’re playing dumb. eat shit!!

    1 reply 2 retweets 10 likes
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  12. Oct 7

    me coming up with a senior thesis at the last minute. some alts: “Why Did Picasso Do That?” “What Was Rembrandt’s Deal?” “Pretty Crazy, Some of Salvador Dali’s Stuff”

    3 replies 8 retweets 48 likes
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  13. Sep 28

    read this piece i wrote for to hear about all of my guys

    1 retweet 3 likes
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  14. Retweeted
    Sep 5

    🔥💖listen to the newest ep of Mary Houlihan’s Li’l Podcast, where Hot Mary teaches to be more confident, n maybe even get a lil gf😊💅🏻

    2 replies 2 retweets 16 likes
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  15. Retweeted
    Sep 2

    look at lil dumbass and his lil dumbass certificate

    6-year-old boy returns $2,000 he found
    197 replies 41,362 retweets 132,765 likes
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  16. Retweeted
    Aug 22

    Putting a 'This Machine Kills Fascists' sticker on my $2500 macbook pro that I use to write my rejected New Yorker piece 'Walt Whitman on a Bumble date'

    57 replies 2,709 retweets 30,293 likes
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  17. Aug 21

    i muted everyone on social media who seems to be living well because i think it’s very rude to have fun publicly and now the only person i follow is this one kid i went to high school with who is still mad he got fired from Game Stop in 2016

    3 retweets 43 likes
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  18. Aug 19

    hey mom, i know you worry about how im doing out here in the city so, well, i just wanted to let you know that Alt-Right Fozzie Bear followed me today

    1 reply 20 likes
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  19. Aug 18

    Domino’s forgot to turn off the pizza tracker after the guy delivered my pizza and i’ve been tracking him for a few days now. he has a secret family in New Jersey

    7 retweets 79 likes
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  20. Retweeted
    Aug 15

    In the latest ep of THE PODCAST FOR LAUNDRY, I've been a live-in nanny for a big celebrity (not telling) and I give a secret tour of his home! FUN EPISODE! Also who is texting me threats? Apple Podcasts: Spotify:

    2 retweets 4 likes
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