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Beware of geeks bearing gifs.
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Always try to be modest. And be damn proud of it!
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Never do card tricks for the group you play poker with.
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He who hesitates is probably right.
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LAW OF RELATIVITY - how attractive a given person appears to be is directly proportional to how unattractive your date is.
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If you were to drive your car at light speed, what would happen when you turn on the head lights?
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So, the chicken and the egg were in bed, the chicken is sitting up, smoking a cigarette, and says, Well, I guess that answers THAT question!
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A nude jogger was running past two old women. One had a stroke, the other missed!
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What is the difference between a genealogist and a gynecologist? One looks up the family tree and the other looks up the family bush.
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What do you instantly know about a well-dressed man? His wife is good at picking out clothes!
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If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you.
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A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
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The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread.
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For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.
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When you're on a tight budget, but still want some action: YouTube and chill?
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What do you call a lesbian with long fingers? Well Hung.
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How do you get a heavy metal guitarist to stop playing guitar? Put sheet music in front of him.
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What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick.
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What is a blonde's way of having safe sex? Locking the car doors!
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What did the hat say to the scarf? You hang around while i go ahead!
Lots of Jokes
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