i feel like ive been cheated
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if i wanted to, i could do breathing exercises or just plain old regular exercises, i could learn about psychology or some shit. change how my brain works to appreciate what is in front of me. but then what? where would the motive force my life be?
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i am afraid that if i am ever satisfied with my life, i won't want to do anything or change anything and it'll sort of be like dying
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Replying to @djmicrobeads
you just float around peacefully until something makes you mad for ten minutes
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Replying to @literalbanana
with all true respect, i don't think i would like that
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Replying to @djmicrobeads @literalbanana
You probably would and I hope you get to find out one day. Peace really is quite lovely.
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Replying to @palecur @literalbanana
i took time off work to relax and it consists of periods of deep existential dread and also lots of relaxation and hanging out with my friends which is nice. i am not worried about getting a job and have savings but it still bothers me
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it sucks so much because there are things i think i want to do but they just feel like weird arbitrary tasks i learned to want in some obsolete context
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imagine wistfully remembering wanting things
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‘Those were some wild days, back when I was embedded in linear time’
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it would be nice, it sucks feeling like i am wasting time
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