I'm genuinely curious where you got this idea that "nerds" are universally reviled in our society? Most of the wealthiest men in America are huge nerds. My husband and I each make 6 figures for being nerds.
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I also think it's probably functioning as fill-in-the-blank, with a couple of options for the blanks. Being socially awkward to the point where it's uncomfortable for people to talk to you (I've been there), for example.
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^^ The world view that gender dynamics are a zero-sum game w/ natural winners & losers is nihilistic. It becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. Of course it's hard to find a partner when you view them as a commodity & you're consumed w/ self-loathing. Fortunately, it's also wrong.
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