Listen...for the folks who seem confused by this. Asking if someone has a child is normal conversation, and my answer is a polite, “No.” Asking someone to explain why they don’t have a child is rude. Mind your business.
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You don’t ask someone why they don’t have children. You don’t ask someone why they don’t drink. You don’t ask someone why they’ve gained or lost weight. You don’t ask why someone is in a wheelchair. You don’t ask why someone has scars. These are not questions for total strangers.
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My rule is if you know someone well enough to ask, you know them well enough that they’d tell you if they wanted. SO NEVER EVER ASK. So sorry you have to deal with those questions.
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YUP I feel the same.
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I'm so sorry that you endure these encounters. I hope you're doing okay and I wish you all the best.
Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. UndoUndo
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Good lord, it's basic manners to not ask and they just keep asking. So many folks are socialized to equate womanhood with motherhood and just have no idea how triggering/shaming that question can be. Extra fun when they ask someone who just had a miscarriage.
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I was going to say, I got that question (variations on a theme) from my dental hygienist when still bleeding from a miscarriage. She acknowledged that it was an extremely inappropriate question.
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as ever i'm sorry you have to deal with rude, entitled ppl
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Cora, you are such a badass and I admire the heck out of you. I am grateful to know you, and sorry you are dealing with folks who feel entitled to access and understand your pain.
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I like to say "well, I lost two desperately-wanted pregnancies and was never able to get pregnant again soooooo..." Shaming rude people is the only way they learn.
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Founder + EIC: The Lingerie Addict
Me: I’m infertile.
Them: *stare*
Me: *stare back*
Them: Well, I didn’t expect all that.
Me: And now you know not to ask.