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  1. Jun 1

    Just observing the speed with which I walk TO the ice cream shop, and the speed with which I walk BACK from the ice cream shop.

  2. Retweeted
    May 31
  3. Retweeted
    May 17

    No one has been treated more unfairly than the billionaire white guy who inherited money and became President despite having no experience.

  4. Apr 17

    I avoid keeping up on taxes all year, then at 3 am on the day before they're due, I suddenly want that receipt for $3 at CVS in March 2016.

  5. Apr 13

    Every time I go out on a busy night and get a good parking spot: "Well THIS was meant to be!"

  6. Retweeted
    Apr 10

    sorry we overbooked our flight

  7. Retweeted
    Mar 27
    Replying to

    Can you explain Uranium again?

  8. Retweeted
    Mar 27
    Replying to

    Trump Checklist LOL

  9. Mar 24

    Calling a group of ladies "guys" = not political. Calling a group of guys "ladies" = political. 🤷🏼‍♀️

  10. Mar 17

    Anyone else dreaming about casually witty conversations with ? She was so easy to talk to. :)

  11. Mar 16

    I just started The Sopranos. It was the best first episode ever! Then I realized I'd watched the season 1 finale. Saving time over here!

  12. Mar 11

    Um I thought Republicans built their platform on unborn babies.... but best of luck to them!!!

  13. Feb 16

    Seth Rogen skips the senators and goes for the blood

  14. Retweeted
    Feb 15

    Happy 50% off chocolate day!! Love is patient, Love has a budget...

  15. Retweeted
    Jan 29

    Guess we're about to find out. Trump in 2014, via .

  16. Jan 29

    All I do is 😭 ... grateful for good humans

  17. Retweeted
    Jan 6
    Replying to
  18. Jan 19
  19. Retweeted
    Jan 15

    First power outages being reported.

  20. Retweeted
    Jan 15

    This ice is NO JOKE! I can only do so much. Be careful!

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