Oh yea, I'm kind of the king of this. This is how I became friends with @erin_nerung. I think she called me an e-intellectual. I think friendly reactions to initial aggressiveness serves as a filter/secret handshake that deeper understanding is possible
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as you yourself said, when the other person doesn't freak out it immediately creates a sense of a space where gloves-off honest interaction can happen, with no concern for pointless niceties but still collaborative
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