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damn it feels good to be a false prophet
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𝓁𝑒𝒾 Retweeted
9/10 dentists agree one of them is *looks over shoulder* wanted for manslaughter in 3 countries & *pulls you around corner* a real sick fuck
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𝓁𝑒𝒾 Retweeted
everyone wants flawless skin but no one’s willing to pay the price: become a nocturnal creature who dwells in a remote forest where travelers lose their minds trying to find a cursed treasure
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𝓁𝑒𝒾 Retweeted
boss: can we talk? me: sure boss: people are afraid of you because you’re obsessed with the devil me: okay, first of all his name is lucifer
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Her: I have butterflies in my stomach Me (trying to impress): My skull is full of wasps
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𝓁𝑒𝒾 Retweeted
[kneeling down & whispering to the frightened kid holding up the line at the water slide] Your only weakness is that you do not welcome death
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𝓁𝑒𝒾 Retweeted
I do apologize for all the Star Wars tweets. The world is falling apart and this is my coping mechanism. It was either this or hard drugs.
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yeah, let me tell you- that's exactly how you'd act. he nailed it. and i like liam and ewan, but did you catch their acting in phantom menace? eek. not exactly citizen kane. hayden was a 19 year old raging power bull child w no parents - oscar please, actuallypic.twitter.com/pVSlUKvsZ3
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people are so fkn mean to & about the way
#haydenchristensen acted /portrayed whatever. anakin was supposed to be 19. the actor was 19. i know a LOT of 19 y/o kids rn. trust me, his behavior on screen is DEAD ON. if you were a teen guy w unlimited power & obi wan raising you, um>Show this threadThanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. UndoUndo -
which brings me to big papa.
#yoda
is supposed to be running things, but wtf kind of force is the light side
everything's going to hell and he won't get up off the couch
not to help #anakin
not #obiwan
not anyone. (yes, to kick his ex-#padiwan's ass ONCE but then: couch)pic.twitter.com/GMgDvL970c
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jedis are not good dads. anakin kept saying obi wan was like a father to him. then, as he burned, obi wan said anakin was like a brother to him. messed up. bad dad. furthermore, when anakin was 19 & getting hyper sexual, where was obi wan? drinkin milkshakes at his favorite dinerpic.twitter.com/zlPAlHRnMY
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Therapist: Do you have a five year plan? Me:https://twitter.com/leifromloihi/status/599032280259002368 …
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me flirting: so are you more haunted by the past or the future
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𝓁𝑒𝒾 Retweeted
maybe she was born with it. maybe she hates herself.
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time: *passes* me: oh fuck
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𝓁𝑒𝒾 Retweeted
I'm at this weird place in my life right now where I’m stranded on a hostile planet that’s orbiting a treacherous star
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𝓁𝑒𝒾 Retweeted
Sick of the liberal media accurately reporting my crimes
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𝓁𝑒𝒾 Retweeted
Ah yes, the moon. Is there anything more romantic than a giant fucking rock
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𝓁𝑒𝒾 Retweeted
I told everyone you said hi and no one cared
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