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laurenthehough's profile
Lauren Hough
Lauren Hough
Lauren Hough
Verified account
@laurenthehough

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Lauren HoughVerified account

@laurenthehough

NYT Bestselling author of LEAVING ISN’T THE HARDEST THING @vintageanchor Exiled Berliner. Tall. Extremely gay. https://www.patreon.com/Laurenthehough  (say huff)

Massachusetts, USA
laurenhoughauthor.com
Joined May 2009

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    Lauren Hough‏Verified account @laurenthehough 25 Nov 2020

    I’ll probably skip the hillbilly movie because it’s bad but also because NO ON IS FUCKING CONFUSED BY THE FORKS we all saw pretty woman and it doesn’t take a fucking genius to, I don’t know, watch someone else at the table pick up a fucking fork

    7:11 AM - 25 Nov 2020
    • 25 Retweets
    • 971 Likes
    • Lilia (She/Her) ʲᵘˢᵗ ʷᵉᵃʳ ᵃ ᵈᵃᵐⁿ ᵐᵃˢᵏ SlightlyOff Julie Morris Nutterbutter 🦮🦈 bigredbr4 Peanut Butterjiggles 😷 renada deshada
    52 replies 25 retweets 971 likes
      1. New conversation
      2. Lauren Hough‏Verified account @laurenthehough 25 Nov 2020

        No one gives a flying fuck if you get it wrong. Use the wrong fork? The waiter will bring you a new one. You’ve gotta have a weird goddamn complex that a plot point in your life is “I used a fish fork for salad and everyone stared omg.” They did not.

        8 replies 4 retweets 366 likes
        Show this thread
      3. Lauren Hough‏Verified account @laurenthehough 25 Nov 2020

        AND SINCE WE’RE HERE You know what happens when you’re stuck at a banquet and you blurt out a weird backstory. You’re now the most interesting person at the table and everyone’s happy as shit they have SOMETHING to talk about.

        3 replies 4 retweets 380 likes
        Show this thread
      4. Lauren Hough‏Verified account @laurenthehough 25 Nov 2020

        THAT may be awkward. Because now you’re the subject. And you have to answer 101 questions they’ve always wanted to ask about cults or jail or eating squirrel or whatever the fuck. But fuck you. Everyone did not just stare in silence like you shit your pants.

        4 replies 2 retweets 284 likes
        Show this thread
      5. End of conversation
      1. New conversation
      2. Gwenda Bond  😈, chairwoman of hagville‏Verified account @Gwenda 25 Nov 2020
        Replying to @laurenthehough

        Also no one cares if you fuck it up — the wait staff will bring you a new one discreetly — this isn’t the crown ffs

        1 reply 1 retweet 41 likes
      3. Lorissa Sengara  🌈‏ @LorissaSengara 25 Nov 2020
        Replying to @Gwenda @laurenthehough

        exactly even among snobs it would be considered déclassé to care

        0 replies 0 retweets 19 likes
      4. End of conversation
      1. Ms. Dana Scully‏ @melani_fuller 25 Nov 2020
        Replying to @laurenthehough

        The book was terrible.

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
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      1. New conversation
      2. Matt Keeley‏ @mattkeeley 25 Nov 2020
        Replying to @laurenthehough

        They could have just changed it to artichokes or something? I needed instruction in eating one in my thirties. http://artichokes.org/how-to-eat 

        1 reply 0 retweets 9 likes
      3. Hello Clarice‏ @clairhooker 25 Nov 2020
        Replying to @mattkeeley @laurenthehough

        I recently found a thread of people admitting they disliked tamales because the corn husk is so tough.

        1 reply 0 retweets 10 likes
      4. Show replies
      1. Luke's cool hand‏ @lukew643 25 Nov 2020
        Replying to @laurenthehough

        Apparently, that didn't even happen. Making a bad book into a worse movie FTW!

        0 replies 0 retweets 13 likes
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      1. New conversation
      2. Matt Steinglass мы живем в мертвящей пустоте‏Verified account @mattsteinglass 25 Nov 2020
        Replying to @laurenthehough

        Get thee back to Italy, here in Shakespearean England we eate with oure fingerspic.twitter.com/aH78vxgYH8

        1 reply 0 retweets 10 likes
      3. Joel Pelletier‏ @joel_pelletier 25 Nov 2020
        Replying to @mattsteinglass @laurenthehough

        No, you use a knife like a fork. It barbaric.

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
      4. End of conversation

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