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  1. Mar 2

    i work medium and play medium

    Undo
  2. Feb 29

    when Bernie won’t stop txting

    Undo
  3. Feb 13

    *paints on guitar* “THIS MACHINE CANCELS FUCKBOYS”

    Undo
  4. Feb 10

    fuck man. half of the white album sux hard. never noticed til now. but the other half rules twice as hard as i thought before. net gain=beatles still awesome, i guess... i guess 🤨.

    Undo
  5. Feb 10

    LMAO)))

    Undo
  6. Feb 7

    no way that lil hanson kid played the drums on that song ps mitt romney’s just tryina get an 4-yr early leg up against president sanders obvs

    Undo
  7. Jan 30

    knuckle tat idea WINE LIPS

    Undo
  8. Jan 9

    tfw when u cave—after some trepidation— and go ahead and be the “whales aren’t fish” guy.

    Undo
  9. 23 Dec 2019

    knuckle tat idea KATE BUSH

    Undo
  10. 22 Dec 2019

    jack white has absolutely no idea what to do with his hair but he does it anyway

    Undo
  11. 22 Dec 2019

    mountain dew is the best brand name

    Undo
  12. 21 Dec 2019

    wait you’re telling me a freak flagged this fly?

    Undo
  13. 2 Dec 2019

    last time i went to the doctor they were playing a string quartet version of sweet home alabama. i changed doctors and the new one is playing string quartet rendition of despacito fml over here

    Undo
  14. 10 Nov 2019

    *country crooner voice* i’ve gotten a little less cowabunga and a lot more hakuna matata, i’m a little less hell-yes and a little more yes ma’am, i’m a little less no-pendejo and a little more si-señor, i’m a little less schadenfreude and a little more bildungsroman”...

    Undo
  15. 27 Oct 2019

    i’m sorry but braid paisley rips

    Undo
  16. 24 Oct 2019

    i get by with a little help from the internet

    Undo
  17. 23 Oct 2019

    wearing a dead man’s tee shirt

    Undo
  18. 9 Oct 2019

    i always knew i’d wind up being the guy with advice for young adults but i never thought they’d have learned my bass parts in 8th grade and are now i’m their weird boss and the advice is about how to sell someone a semi-decent albariño

    Undo
  19. 24 Sep 2019

    everyone’s a service animal

    Undo
  20. 19 Sep 2019

    if i decide to emperil the purity of the true Downton Abbey cannon by attending the movie, i will be doing so ALONE because i’ll definitely cry even if it sucks

    Undo

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