As Stephen Pinker says, "it is not surprising that grammar development does not depend on overt practice". Hearing ourselves speak we don't get any new information, so we can't learn anything new!
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Y justo como el decía: Uno de los fallos lógicos recurrentes tanto en la academia como en el lenguaje común es creer que el lenguaje determina cómo piensas.
La comparación que se hace es siempre entre nuestra cultura y otra cultura.
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This has not been my experience. If I hear myself speak, as in listen to a an audio of video of me speaking, I often notice mistakes, and thus in turn notice things about the language that help me improve. But speaking comes after I have listened and read a lot.
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Is noticing mistakes etc. necessary to improve, or is it that you've internalized the language thru input first, so over time your output will conform to this "mental image" whether you notice or not? I think noticing may be useful in some ways but I suspect it's more the latter.