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  1. men can be heroes too

  2. "we lost our son forever" dad we're at the grocery I'm literally right behind you

  3. siri how do you know when you are past redemption

  4. dear diary mom says i cant have an ash tray in my bedroom I tried to explain it's not for smoking it's for the remains of my enemies

  5. i hope i live long enough to see myself become the villain

  6. dear diary my mom missed my band concert she said she was busy leading a galactic resistance but I had a clarinet solo

  7. i'm fine even Darth Vader got rejected when he first applied to school and his test scores were insane it's not like it's a rational process

  8. dear diary i found a tutorial of what to do under your helmet to not damage your hair it was useful here's a picture

  9. ugh these aren't delusions of grandeur, dad my grandeur is real

  10. should I do the talent show this year? I could showcase my blade skill Hux wants to read excerpts from The Fountainhead but I didn't say yes

  11. my parents often say they wish they could delete my scenes

  12. sometimes all you want is to just curl up under a blanket all day but instead you have to get up and be a dark lord

  13. dear diary i'm all stuffed up but on the dark side my breathing sounds quite impressive with the helmet

  14. dear diary i think i am coming down with something i've been sneezing into my helmet all morning I wonder how Darth Vader dealt with this

  15. dear diary i wish people wouldn't say things cost an arm and a leg my grandfather lost an arm and both legs and it wasn't a joking matter

  16. . If "Where's Waldo" were about you it'd be called "Who Gives A Shit Where Waldo Is Let's Go About Our Lives For 20 Years"

  17. In reply to

    . really YOU want to joke about people not visiting?

  18. In reply to

    you shouldn't knock fanfiction when you're literally a Mary Sue

  19. dear diary Uncle Luke said he was raised entirely by his uncle not sure what he wanted me to say but I guess "that explains a lot" wasn't it

  20. dark knights don't need hugs mom

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